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Literature Text
Halright, welcome back to Candy Land! This time, let’s put candy aside… and remember our favorite vegetable.
Spinach Fleet
“Ohhhh…” Mason and Sheila awoke on the deck of a ship.
“What did we just do…” Mason moaned.
“Blimey, I…I feel like me blood-sugar levels exploded. And yet, me mouth tastes like spinach…”
“You should-a be thanking us, no?”
The two looked up. They were surrounded by Spinach Soldiers, and not on the Sunny’s deck, but rather the deck of one in their fleet of ships. “You-a little children crashed here out of nowhere just-a SHAKING with sugar, until we fed you one of our-a special medical spinaches.” explained Amerigo Vespinachio. “We were just on our way to Canada to infect-a their farmlands with the same herbs. After all, no one can resist the Spinach Inquisition!”
And at that instant, the Spinach Monks burst into their classic song.
Just try it! You’ll like it!
It’s what we have to say!
Just taste it! You’ll love it!
There IS no other WAAAAY!
The SPIIINA-
“Yeahyeahyeahyeah okayokay.” Mason stopped them. “How did we get out here?”
“We-a just told you, you kids-a just fell from the sky. It scared a lot of our-a little saplings. We-a have never seen a kid so-a hyped on sugar. It reminded me of this story from long ago, about a little girl who ate a cake.”
“Sounds like a story we just heard.” Mason noticed. “Does it have to do with the First Kids Next Door?”
“I-a don’t know. But around 5,000 years ago, a little boy who loved vegetables saw one of his friends eat a cake that-a made her a sugary monster. The boy was repulsed-a, so he sought a way to counter such an atrocity, and found a land that was growing with spinach like no other-a. He invited others, and they all crowned the land La Spinachia, where that boy became the very first-a king. As-a you might surmise, he was the ancestor of the current-a king. Since then, the Spinachia Royal Family has-a made it their goal to spread the glory of spinach, and forever counter the evils that-a those candies bring. It has-a become a struggle, as our armada was always in the race with a fleet of candy-loving hoodlums, called-a the Big Moms.”
“The Big Moms?!” Mason exclaimed. “We just got our butts kicked by them!”
“OH!!” the men gasped. “You-a have clashed with the dreaded Pirate Emperor, Big Mom?” Amerigo asked.
“Well, not exactly… just her commanders. But then she ate one of our friends after figuring out we were from Kids Next Door.”
“Ay-ay-ay. So the two of us have a common enemy.”
“Hey, that’s right. Maybe YOU can help us defeat her!”
“OHHH HO HO HOOO!” They burst into laughter.
“You-a speak of the doomsday.” Amerigo laughed. “Many a fleet have tried to sail to Candied Island. But many ships have-a fallen during the voyage, and the ones who have-a reached never survive the candy terrain for long. Besides-a, Big Mom is a beast! Her power comes from that which makes normal humans weak: sugary sweets. No amount of spinach we feed will-a poison her for long.”
“Well blimey, there ‘as to be SOME way!” Sheila proclaimed. “I wanna kick Big Mom’s ass! I’ll use me own FISTS if I have to!”
“Hmmmmm.” The Spinach Men all stood in thought. “Well-a, there might be ONE thing that could work. There is a breed of vegetable so rich with healthy minerals, it can erase ANY trace of candy within the most hardened chocoholics. The Great White Asparagus-a.”
“Nay, but the Asparagus be untamable.” another man said. “All great fisherman who have tried ended as sustenance for its minerals. Well, they escaped, but… they could never taste anything else again.”
“Boys: allow me to introduce Sheila Frantic.” Mason said proudly, patting his friend’s back. “She’ll give that beast what’s coming to it! Right? Sheila?…” He noticed her glum face.
“Yeah, I know, just… I wish the other mates were here to go with me.”
“Sheila, I’m sure they wouldn’t just leave you. They probably intend to attack Candy Island with the full KND Armada.”
“But I just wanted it ta be the 11 of us! This is OUR adventure and OUR battle, and havin’ all those blokes just ruins it!”
“We’re teaming up with the Spinach Armada, anyway. But our friends will come back, I know it. We’ll go to Candied Island, and defeat Big Mom together!”
“Wrong, Mate.” Sheila smirked. “Ah’m takin’ out Big Mom myself! You blokes c’n just have the lackeys.”
“Heheh, takin’ her on by yourself, are you sure?”
“’ey, if I can kick one o’ the other Pirate Emperors’ butt, I c’n take this lardo. And that’s even MORE butt!”
“Heh, I don’t think Mandy was intentionally putting up a fight. She was probably just generous.”
“Speak of the devil!” Amerigo spoke up. “You’ve-a defeated Grim-Starer Mandy?”
“Maybe we’ll have a chance after all!” another exclaimed. “She is-a our long-awaited hero!”
“Put a cork in it, I ain’t your hero! I jus’ wanna kick this hag’s arse!” Sheila fist-palmed.
“Young-a children should not be cussing!”
“Pfft, I know a 7-year-old that cusses.”
“Look, let’s just find the White Asparagus and Sheila can tame it easy.” Mason said. “Where does it live?”
“It lives in the Asparagus Sea, which is-a any candy-lover’s nightmare. You’ll never-a see the Big Moms there, no no no.” Amerigo answered.
“Then let’s shove off!” Sheila pointed with bravado. “Big Mum’s gettin’ a HEALTHY dinnuh for once, and White Asparagus is on the menu!”
“Spinach Inquisition, SAIL-A forth-a!” And at Amerigo’s command, the fleet was off.
Candied Island
“Careful with those Licorice Stalks!” Augustus ordered as Nickel Joe’s henchmen hauled in the long stalks. “I’m not becoming the dead man who breaks them.”
Sir Knightly sheepishly walked in with the Rainbow Lolli. “Eh… Señor Augustus-senpai? I uh brokee de… lolli.”
Augustus noticed the slight crack. “Mmmm… well, hopefully that’s not too fatal. Is that all of the Wonders?”
Fat Jack had the Blurpleberry Supreme, Maggie dragged the refrigerator containing the Fourth Flavor (whoa, she was strong), Black John still had the Easter Bunny, Stewie brought the bag of caramels, and Rallo struggled to carry the Crystal Marshmallow above him. “Nnnnn-g-g! Who the hell puts a damn marshmallow inside a crystal?!”
“You have to hatch it by shining sunlight.” Augustus said. “But it’s extremely dangerous. The minute the crystal breaks, the marshmallow sends all the light back… and blinds anyone who looks.”
“HUH??” The pirates gasped.
“Yes, and that’s why it’s meant to be consecutive with the Rainbow Lolli. All of the blinding light will make the Lolli’s colors shine their greatest. Stewie, is the ultra-magnifier ready?”
“Right away, Mr. Won’t-take-his-jacket-off.” Stewie pressed a button, opening the room’s roof. A series of large magnifying glasses lined up above them, and the sun aligned perfectly. A beam of sunlight launched down and struck the hard crystal, making it alight and crack. The crystal exploded, and the pirates quickly looked away as the blinding light swallowed the whole room.
“THIS TOO MUCH TROUBLE for a maaaarshmalloooow!” Rallo cried.
“How long is this going to last?!” Lala screamed.
“About 2 days!” Augustus said, eyes closed tight, despite his sunglasses.
“I can’t put up with this for two daaaaays!” Rallo screamed.
“You won’t need to! Just hold up the Rainbow Lolli!”
“Oh!!” Sir Knightly raised the colorful lolli as the light already began to affect it. The Rainbow Lolli shined brighter than ever, and to their utter surprise, the light was gone. It had been sucked completely into the giant lollipop.
Augustus walked over and studied it. “There. It’s been imbued with pure light that’ll last for days, maybe weeks. It should be enough time to bake BOTH.”
“Oi, ‘ow long does it take to BAKE this cake, anyway?” Black John asked.
“Ironically, it takes 2 days as well, according to the part of the recipe I deciphered.” Lala replied. “It would’ve been a pain to wait for that marshmallow naturally.”
“Then it’s time to get started. Jack, you’ve gathered all the extra ingredients we needed, right?”
“Ahhhh.” Jack sucked his lollipop. “One thousand chicken eggs, 500 sacks of flour… Gonna be biggest cake ever, ahhhh.”
“Great.” Augustus smiled. “Did you hear all that, Mom?”
“Nyaaaaa! My room is FLOODING with my drooool! I can wait NO LONGER for this caaaake! We must BEGIN preparations now! While the Demon Sweets attack Virginia… I will be FEEDING like no tomorrow! And I must hurry fast… I am feeling a rumbling in my stomach. It must be something… I ate earlier. SOMEBODY bring me a thousand-gallon soda! I shall counter this rumbling WITH ANOTHER!”
Asparagus Sea
It took until sunset the next day before the sea took the form of green asparagus, rather than water. “This looks like the place.” Mason said. “You ready, Sheila?”
“Siiiigh.” Sheila woke up tiredly. “Are you sure? Ay’ve been waitin’ for ages.”
“Now, now, no-a need to be nervous.” Amerigo told her. “Just-a wear her down long enough for us ta catch her in our net.”
“Ay’m not nervous! Ay catch beasts like these to get me breakfast! Heck, I could wrangle a giant swordfish, why would Ah be afraid of a measly-”
“On your arms!” a spinach man yelled. “The beast APPROACHES-A!”
Sheila kept a battle stance when a group of asparagus began to shake. She focused tight, ready for what may come… but fast as lightning, the Great White Asparagus shot from the sea and forced its teeth into the ship’s side, but Sheila jumped back. “Not just YET!” Sheila didn’t hesitate to jump after it when it sunk back in the sea. She held tight to its head when the Asparagus emerged and tried to shake her off. “Oi, toss me a fish pole!” A Spinach Soldier hurriedly threw her a fishing rod, and Sheila hurled the lure down into the creature’s mouth.
The Asparagus submerged and began to swim around, the lure still in its mouth as Sheila held on and began to water-ski. It shot its head up and whipped around, attempting to catch Sheila in its mouth, but she jumped and punched its noggin, seemingly hurting it as it slowed.
“It’s-a hurt!” Amerigo announced. “Ready the net!”
A circle of ships faced the monster, each connected by strings leading into their cannons. The cannons fired at once, unleashing the ends of a huge net from the sea, which caught the Asparagus perfectly. The beast shook frantically, and ate through the strings.
One of the net pieces landed on Amerigo’s deck as Mason observed the green string. “Spinach? Who makes a net out of spinach?!”
“IT’S SORT OF OUR THING.” The Spinach Armada chorused.
“YOU PEOPLE ARE HOPELESS!!”
“Grrrr!” The Asparagus still tried to shake Sheila off, and began slamming its head in the water to loosen her grip. She was flung forward, looking up with a gasp as the leviathan lunged at her. She began to dodge around the veggie-filled sea, swimming forward to avoid its mouth of circles of teeth. It finally flipped her upward with its tail, then jumped to snap her in its mouth.
“SHEILA!!” Mason screamed.
“Hnnnnnn-nnnn!” Sheila stood in the very edge of its mouth, using each hand and foot to hold all four ends open. It roared and tried harder to close, but Sheila gave all her strength, the saliva from its mouth making her almost lose grip.
“Any minute now, she will-a be broken like little sticks-a!” Amerigo cried, shielding his eyes.
Mason glared at the monster. No way Sheila would let that happen. “HEY, SHEILA! YOUR ADVENTURE’S NOT OVER NOW, IS IT? DID YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO STOP? IF NOT, THEN WHY AREN’T YOU MOVING!”
Why wasn’t she indeed. Sheila didn’t want to stop now. And she didn’t want her bones broken like sticks. Her adventure wasn’t OVER! “HYYUH!” Quicker than she could think, she kicked both legs upward, bringing the rest of her body with the force and evading the beast’s snapping mouth. She came down and wrapped all arms and legs around its mouth, using all strength to hold it shut this time. “Ya think you’re gonna resist me for long? I tamed a giant swordfish! Don’t you think Ay’ve eaten YOU blokes for dinner a couple o’-” Her eyes perked in remembrance. With that, she stuck fingers in her mouth and made a whistle.
In the distance, a huge top fin stuck out from the sea and charged to the Asparagus. The Great Marlin jumped from the sea and slashed its blade at the beast, flinging Sheila off and onto the swordfish’s back. “GOME AWN, Mari! Let’s wrangle this bad boy! HIYAH!” She kicked the fish’s sides, and she swam forward to clash with the Asparagus. Marilyn jabbed its sword-nose while Asparagus gnashed its teeth, but the creature swam away while the swordfish chased.
“No meal escapes MY belly for long!” Sheila jumped and allowed the marlin to flick her with its tail, landing her on the Asparagus’s head. “I bet NO kid has ever done THIS before! AAAAAH-” And she forced her teeth into the vegetable’s flesh, making it cry in agony. “I for one think you’re delicious!”
“Rrrrr…” The fearsome beast finally settled down.
“OH!!” The Spinach Armada gasped. “The great beast-a has been tamed!”
“She is a child like no other-a!”
“Pyah ha ha ha!” Mason laughed. “That’s ‘cause no other kid was willing to eat it! But Sheila will try anything.”
“Hehehe! Bloke’s just stunned at havin’ part of HIM in someone else’s stomach. Pyah aaaah ha haaaa! He ‘as NO MORE to say!” Sheila patted the Asparagus.
They heard the pounding of a propeller and looked to see a candy-made helicopter flying from the distance. “Hey, it’s…it’s Henrietta!” Mason beamed. “MISS MARZIPAAAAN!” He waved excitedly.
“Hm hm hm!” She smiled and waved at the boy.
Heinie and Jessie & Sandy landed on Amerigo’s deck as they hauled the Great Asparagus on. “With our net-a broken, how are we expected to carry it-a?” Amerigo asked. “It’ll snap back to its senses any moment-a.”
“This ought to lessen his steam.” Henrietta said, tossing a Shrink Sweet into the monster’s mouth. The beast shook as its body began to compress. In the process, he coughed up a chubby man with a brown beard and withered shirt and shorts.
“I was in there for 20 years! What year is it??”
“2032, Mr. Wallace.” Mason replied.
“WHERE’S MY DADDY?”
“Ve’ll find his home later.” Heinie shrugged.
Sheila planted her foot on the shrunken Asparagus, who was now only 8 inches long. “HA HAAAA! Who’s gettin’ eaten NOW, Shrimpstuff?”
“Do not forget the plan-a, Sheila!” Amerigo yelled. “We are-a going to poison Big Mom-a!”
“Oh. So zat’s vhat it’s for.” Heinie noticed.
“Huh. Oh yeah, how’d you find us, Miss Marzipan?” Mason asked.
“You zipped over Sabaody Park and left ein colored, smoky trail. I assumed you had licked ze Rainbow Lolli. Zat’s a very dangerous Wonder; vone lick vill give you ze sugar rush of a lifetime. You must not have eaten a big amount if you are now healed. I’m just glad you didn’t lick it vhile it vas gloomy. That vould’ve had the opposite effect. Anyvay, the trail ended near Spinachia vaters, so… vell, I used mein common sense.”
“It was f**king boring.” Jessie said.
“HE CUSSED!!” They all screamed.
“You won’t tattle?” Sandy said with adorable eyes.
“NO, WE WON’T.”
“But vhere is the rest of your crew?” Heinie asked.
“We… kinda had a falling out.” Mason said sadly.
“But that ain’t gonna stop me!” Sheila fist-palmed. “I’m Sunny-Fist Sheila! And I ain’t scared of no virus. Ah’m tasting that cake first!”
This caught Heinie’s attention. “You know about ze virus?”
“Um, yeah.” Mason replied. “Willy Wonka told us about it; we found his hideaway. Big Mom is apparently our great-aunt!”
“…” Henrietta faced away. “Zat isn’t the only case.”
“Huh? Whaddyou mean?”
“…” Henrietta looked down with shame. “Big Mom is my… mom.”
“WHUUUUUUUH?!?” Everybody screamed with utter shock.
“Big Mom married a German man called Gustav von Marzipan, another candy fan. Linlin became her maiden name, and I vas born Henrietta von Marzipan. The Candy Virus hadn’t gotten to me yet, but she told me about it. She originally vanted me to find ze Sugary Vonders, and in mein quest, I met Abigail Lincoln, and zought I could use her to help me find zem. The time for ze Magic Caramels had come, and I vanted to trap her. But I ended up trapped instead, and blamed her for double-crossing me. At ze same time, I vas angry at Big Mom for causing me to lose my beautiful self; I zink, all along, she vanted me to be ze Caramels’ victim. So I left her. But as revenge, she ate mein father. I vas all alone.
“And yet, ze curse vas still vith me, so I made it mein goal to find ze Sugary Vonders myself, teaming up vith Stickybeard for ein time. All mein plans vere foiled, but on ze bright side, I regained mein beautiful self. I zought I vould never be free of zis virus… but zen, somezing happened that got rid of it vonce and for all.”
“What happened?” Mason asked. “(But please tone it down with the accent.)”
She looked at them seriously. “Twenty years ago, in my search for ze Rainbow Lollipop, ze Flying Dutchman shot down my helicopter, and I fell into Davy Jones’ Locker.”
The two kids gasped in remembrance.
“Just like vith Sector Z, ve vere trapped in a realm between life and death, removing any diseases or curses ve might have acquired while alive. Even zough my curse vas at birth, it was still eliminated. But then mein friends sailed me back to life. And vhen I had ze KND scientists run deep scans, zey showed nothing wrong in mein DNA. It vas like a dream come true…”
“Yeah… that is amazing!” Mason beamed. “Heh, to think a big nightmare could be gone just like that! I wonder if that’s how Malladus and Hannibal got rid of their wives’ curses…”
“But I’m not sure vhy Augustus ran away to join Big Mom. I had always assumed one of her agents kidnapped him, and she told him about ze curse. And she knew he vas ze only one with knowledge to find ze Sugary Vonders.”
“Well, the time has come to take Big Mom down.” Mason stated. “Where’s she live; where is Candied Island?”
“Its location… is in ze Bermuda Triangle.”
“Really? Feels like anyone could’ve found it; I mean, with Davy Jones outta the way-”
“Not quite. Zere is an old legend, back vhen the gods vere making this world. Zey had ideas for lands that greatly stood out compared to other mortal regions. Zey thought zese lands to be very unique, and didn’t vant too many people finding zem. So… zey placed zem on a sub-Earth, vhich Palkia placed into another dimension. Ze entrance can only be found on zis planet, as it is essentially connected to Earth, yet inaccessible anyvhere but a certain location. Ein humongous cyclone in ze Triangle is secretly a vortex leading to zis realm. But even zose who know it risk zeir life trying to sail in.”
“Then LET’S GO!” Sheila announced with enthusiasm. “WE’LL SAIL TO CANDIED ISLAND OR DIE TRYING! Such for the SAKE of adventure!”
“WE DON’T WANNA BE ADVENTURERS!” the Spinach Men cried.
“Actually, zere is a vay to make ze journey easier.” Henrietta smiled. “If a ship is encased in ze special Coating found at Sabaody Park, it could sustain from damage. Luckily, a certain somebody took me on a detour zere.” She looked at Jessie.
“Damn right I did! Oh! …But how can I coat these many ships?”
“If ve can’t coat zem all, it’s zere decision to come or not. They may risk dying. My only real fear is the members missing from your crew. Your success may…”
“Ahhh, whiskers, Henrietta!” Sheila waved off. “Me crewmates will be back, Ah just know it! ’Cause after all, as captain, I ain’t dismissed ‘em! Just SHOW US the way to fair Candied Island! No use waitin’ around for late adventurers!”
“Hm hm hm! Okay zen… let’s go! Today is ze day Big Mom falls! …Actually, tomorrow, since it vill take about a day to get zere.”
“Ehh, fair enough. LET’S GO!!”
“YAAAAAAYYY!”
Bermuda Triangle
At 5:00pm the next day, the Spinach Armada was entering the triangle, and the tremendous cyclone Henrietta spoke of was clear in the distance. “I’m assuming that’s where we’re headed.” Mason remarked.
“I ain’t seein’ any others.” Sheila said. “Otherwise, I’d be explorin’ them, too.”
“But where’s this Coating we’re supposed to use?”
Floating above them was Jessie and Sandy in a bubble-made boat, as the former carefully tried to blow a bubble through his wand. “Hold your butt, I’m trying to make it. You ever make 50-foot bubbles for 500 ships?”
“At least get ours.” Heinie said. “You probably can’t get zem all. But ve should go in first.”
“That’s… not going to be very easy.” Mason noted. They looked to the cyclone when a fleet of candy ships sailed out and began to blast cannonjawbreakers.
“LOOOOAD THE SPINACH GUNS!” a spinach man cried. The Spinachia Fleet blasted cannons loaded with green cannonballs, exploding into spinach that engulfed the whole decks of the ships upon impact.
“Heh-hey, that stuff actually works!” Mason beamed.
“Spinach is our thing, no?” Amerigo smirked.
“Just keep it up!”
“Ah’ll help, too!” Sheila spun her fists and began sending Light Spheres at the ships’ masts in attempt to break them.
“Guess we aren’t making that Coating.” Jessie figured. “Get ready, Sandy.”
“Right!” The two sailed their bubble boat forward, avoiding the cannonballs as Jessie whooshed his wand, sending a Bubble Torpedo at one of the masts and destroying it.
“Whoa!!” Mason gaped.
“MY turn!” exclaimed Sandy, whipping out two ropes of incredible length and leaping between two ships. “ROPE ACTION: TANGLED SHOELACE ATTACK!” She lashed the ropes to wrap around both masts and tied the other ends together, causing the ships to pull toward and ram each other. Jessie created a mini bubble skateboard and surfed around another deck, clogging the cannons with bubbles, so when they fired, the cannonballs caught and bounced right back, destroying the guns. Just as well, Sandy landed on the deck of another ship, catching all the cannons with her ropes, flipping them backwards, and making them shoot on the deck.
“Why aren’t these kids in Kids Next Door?” Mason face-palmed.
“’Cause Kids Next Door is old-time!” Sheila fist-palmed. “We’re the NEW generation! And we kick BUTT!” She spun and blasted a charged Light Sphere, destroying the front portion of a ship.
“Heh, this is too easy!” Mason beamed. “We’ll be at Candy Island in minutes!”
But unbeknownst to them, another evil waited beneath the depths. A great octopus made of sugary sweets emerged from the sea and gripped many spinach ships in its jelly-licorice tentacles. The soldiers tried to pierce them with spears, but the spears transformed into sugar and absorbed into the creature. “Don’t touch zose!” Henrietta cautioned. “It is vone of Big Mom’s Demon Sweets! Zey are monsters she ordered from Nightmare Enterprises, imbued vith her own DNA she sent over to Darkrai. Zey are meant to carry ze Candy Virus, so be careful!”
“GYAAAH!” Sheila frantically dodged before the octo smashed her with tentacles. Henrietta hurried over to slice the tentacles with swift Armament slices, but they were soon attacked by giant seasnakes designed like ho-hos.
“Eyaaaah!” Mason dodged the snakes’ cream-filled bites. “I stopped eating you guys years agoooo!”
“Watch-a out for the Caranhas!” a soldier screamed as block-shaped, caramel piranhas started jumping onto the deck in attempt to bite people.
Sheila hurriedly kicked away Caranhas, but one of them succeeded in biting her left toe. “YOW!” She kicked it quickly, but her heart raced in fear when her foot mutated into candy, and the virus seeped up her leg.
“HIIIISS!” A Ho-ho Serpent lunged down at Sheila, but a spiraling fireball shot into its mouth and drilled the top of its body before dropping to the deck. Sheila gasped when the flames cleared, revealing Chris and Aurora. “Mates!”
“Sheila, hold still!” Haruka dropped down with Dillon in his Shadow Glide, quickly forcing her fingernails in Sheila’s leg and absorbing the sugary substance from it.
“Haruka, what’re you doing?” Mason yelled with concern.
“I’ve come to grips with my parasite power. It isn’t what I wanted… but it helps.” Sheila’s leg was back to normal as Haruka’s arm became infected. “I think Caesar might’ve implanted his own DNA in this Devil Fruit. It’s packed with anti-bodies that can counter any harmful toxin. See?” They watched as Haruka’s sugary arm reverted to normal color.
“How did you learn that?” Mason asked.
“I had Mr. York fly me to Nightmare Land, and made Darkrai induce me with toooons of Fear Toxin.”
“Whoa.”
“It was the best way I could perfect this power. But don’t think I can use it on Big Mom’s curse; Darkrai thought I could only counter THESE creatures ‘cause they’re Nightmares.”
“But crikey, that don’t explain what you’re all doing here!” Sheila proclaimed. “What ‘appened? Where’s the bloomin’ KND Armada?”
“Gonna be preoccupied with defending Virginia, probably.” Aurora answered. “There was just one thing: we aren’t Kids Next Door. So we couldn’t go with ‘em.”
“But… I thought-…”
The 9 remaining Sector V members stared out the window, watching Mason’s escape pod fly out in the distance. “Siiiigh. They never hang around long enough.” Cheren sighed. “Well, before he was gonna leave, there’s something I wanted to tell all of you.”
“Hold on, Cheren.” Aurora suddenly spoke. “I think…I think Mason’s right. We can’t become Sector V again. Not until we have all our members. The ten- er… eleven of us,” she glanced at Carol, “are a family. That’s the way it’s always been.”
“Except for Cree’s time.” Harry noted.
“The point is, we’re not leaving Sheila behind. Our mission was to pose as pirates, and we’re going to see it through the end. So we’re not coming back to KND!”
“But we need to come up with a plan!”
“It’s not our business, Cheren. We’re not Kids Next Door right now. We’re pirates. And we follow our captain. …Right?” She looked at the others.
The other 8 exchanged glances. They couldn’t deny they were feeling the same way. “Well, since you just made the speech, we have to or we’ll feel guilty.” Harry replied.
Cheren sighed once more. “If we learned anything from our dad… halright, let’s turn this ship around-”
“Um, actually, Cheren… we may need to borrow a few ships.” Aurora spoke sheepishly. “If we’ll have a chance at defeating these pirates, we need to do some training. At least 2 days, we don’t know how much time we’ll have, so we’ll have to take a chance.”
“So you wanna head to Arctic Base?” Cheren asked.
“Actually, there’s somewhere in particular I want to go. And you all should do the same.”
“Hmmm… I think I get what you sayin’.” Harry said, standing up. “There’s somewhere I can go, too.”
“If THAT’S the case,” Carol stood confidently, “I’M asking my mom for more MONEY! Enough to drive those swabs crazy!”
Dillon rolled his eyes, still doubting this power. “Well, Aurora’s right, either way. We have to train and hurry to meet Sheila.”
“Yeah, we do.” Haylee replied. “But we should stop by Mrs. Chariton’s and resize Artie.”
“Actually, take me to the Undersea Lab.” Artie told them. “I think I can make do.”
Cheren was confused, needless to say. Why make a fuss about returning to your leader when you’re just splitting up? But he decided to roll with it. “Alright.” He shrugged. “We’ll get some ships ready.”
In minutes, the 9 kids were on aircrafts and flying different directions. “Well, what’re we gonna do about Big Mom??” Francis questioned. “She’s going to have Virginia burned for breaking the deal, isn’t she?”
“Sigh, yes, we’ll call every troop we can to come support us. We’ll just have to hope Sector V can take care of her.”
“Like we can.” Francis spoke with anger. “They let Panini die, how can they-”
“Look, Panini’s gone, I KNOW.” Cheren’s voice trembled when he said this. “I want to attack Big Mom more than anybody. But we can’t let anyone else we know get hurt, too. We have to protect our town and have faith in Sector V.”
“…” Francis still looked with remorse, “Okay.”
“The truth is, we left because we didn’t feel it was working, and we just couldn’t match your strength.” Aurora explained. “Except for Chris. But we just felt guilty about leaving you, and Mason sorta helped us realize that. So we decided… if we’re going to be in your crew, you deserve better. While we were on the transport, Haylee estimated it’d take 2 days to bake the cake, so we took that time to train. Then Haruka called us and said Darkrai told her Candied Island was in the Bermuda Triangle.”
“Siiiigh, I wish we coulda sailed into the scary cyclone WITHOUT knowin’ it led to another world, then it woulda been way more fun.” Sheila sighed.
“Yeah, but I’d still like to know whether or not we’re going to die.” said a tiny, mechanical fly, flapping beside them.
“OI, BLIMEY!” Sheila pointed frantically. “IT’S A TALKING FLY!”
“What? Sheila, it’s me!”
The raccoon squinted closer. “Artie?”
“Hehe! Surprising, huh? I figured if I’m gonna be a pipsqueak, I’ll need the right gear. So I whipped this suit up at the Undersea Lab! I call this ability Fly Style!”
“Pfft. Is that it? I can flick you with mah tail.”
“You say that now, but you haven’t yet seen my-” Sheila simply swatted him away with her tail. “Grrrr! You’re lucky I’m nice enough not to test it on you!”
“Heh heh heh! As long as I’M not the one wearing the shrink suit.” Mason laughed.
“ROOOAAAR!” Three more Ho-ho Serpents emerged from the depths, but Dillon caught them all in a Shadow Stitching.
“CLUTCH!” Dillon squeezed them in his shadow and smashed the creamy creatures, splattering their substance everywhere.
“Ew.” Haruka said.
Another group of Caranhas jumped onto the deck, but quick as a fly, Artie shot them all with turrets on the side of his armor. “Oi, where’re the others?” Sheila asked.
Ah was just on mah boat on Seven Seas
When mah crewmate turns and overboards, he pees
It made me puke, felt like I was a nuke
Made me wish I was home readin’ Marmaduke.
A blue ship sailed in the area as its giant stereos blasted rap music. Harry stood upon the front, wearing sunglasses and nodding to this tune. “HEEEEE-EEEEEY!” Behind them was a gigantic cargo ship, loaded with cages of animals as Carol waved joyously from the front. “Check it out! I brought my 3 parrots, 5 turtles, 10 camels, 7 kangaroos, 8 bears, 4 bulls, 9 tigers, AND my mutant CANARY!”
“HOW DOES A GIRL OWN THAT MANY PETS?” they all screamed.
“But they all share one thing: LOVE for MY MONEY!” She raised a bundle of dollars, making all the animals screech and shake frantically.
“Carol, there’s no WAY we can take that whole ship into the cyclone!” Mason told her.
“No problem! I got my mom to send a couple people to pick up enough Shrink Sweets and Growth Gum! And once we get ‘em all there, they’ll be READY to fight! Let me just work on shrinking them.”
“We got time to wait.” Haylee said, taking land beside them on her hang-glider, with Kirie on her back. “There’s still plenty of ships to take out.”
Indeed, about 10 ships were still patrolling the cyclone, and candied sea monsters with them. But before they knew it, the skies turned red, and the Big Mom crewmen were attacked by swarms of hungry, ravenous sea demons. “WAAAAAH! ABANDON SHIIIIP!” They jumped into the sea, but the demons easily claimed them as their prey.
The area was still normal to the others’ view, and had no idea why the monsters were fainting, and the crewmen abandoning ship. But they looked left and gasped, seeing the Boogey Coast sailing their way. A rope connected from the ship to the neck of the Sunny Day’s keel, pulling the smaller ship along. “It’s-a the Diavolo! Grim-Stare Mandy herself!” a spinach man gasped.
“OI, YOU WANT MORE OF THIS?” Sheila screamed. “I’LL HIT YOU SO HARD, YOU’LL GET A NOSE!”
The rope detached from the Sunny and retracted back into the Boogey. With that, the giant ship turned and sailed away. “Um… THANK YOU.”
“YOU KNOW, IF YOU COULD DO THAT, YOU’D BE A LOT OF HELP INVADING THIS PLACE.” Chris yelled.
“Ahhh, bonk her, mates. Let’s get back on the Sunny!”
Everyone except Carol (who was still shrinking her animals) hopped back to the Sunny Day, unfurling the sails. “The time ‘as FINALLY come, mates! There’s nothing else standing in our way! To CANDIED I-”
A larger cannonball blasted from the cyclone and crushed a group of spinach ships. A ship more massive than the lesser candy ships sailed out, squishing all of its failed underlings. It was the tasty, singing ship known as the Big Ma’am. “La la la, so many peoples, la la la, so much’s to squish.”
“IT’S-A THE BIG MA’AM!” Amerigo screamed.
“What the hell, is it singing?” Jessie questioned.
“Zat face is actually a Nightmare the Linlins ordered ages ago.” Henrietta explained. “It’s ein Nightmare that can possess any object without ein face. Zey hired it to control zeir ship; so essentially, it’s ze crew’s helmsman.”
“And also their top guard before enemy lines.” Chris observed.
“That ship may have a cruddy face,” Sheila fist-palmed, “but OURS ‘as a heart! Let’s see ‘ow much this excuse for an overgrown cake fairs against our little dinga!”
“O-kay!” Mason perked. “Raccoon Pirates: BATTLE STATIONS!”
“La la la, so so tiny, la la la, easy to kill.” (Play the “Ghost Ship Battle” theme from Zelda: Phantom Hourglass.)
Boss fight: Big Ma’am
The kids maneuvered the Sunny as the Big Ma’am tried to bombard them with jawbreaker cannonballs. Sheila and Chris punched light and fireballs at the ship’s side, but it didn’t have much effect. They quickly sailed the Sunny away as the Ma’am chased, so the kids took control of their own cannons and blasted the face. “Owie owie ow. So much pain, la la la, tiny balls hurt.”
“It’s still gonna catch up, we won’t be able to blast it to pieces in time!” Dillon yelled.
“Then maybe it’s my turn.” Aurora declared. “Time to put my training to the test.” She raised her right fist. “Flame Chi Gate: Open!” She touched it to her chest, and to their amazement, her body was engulfed in flames.
“WHOA!” They gaped.
“Heheh! Each bender can open their Chi Gate and unleash a stronger burst of their power! ‘Course, you get exhausted quicker, so I’ll try to conserve. I actually have another power too, but, I’ll show you later. In the meantime:” She shot bigger, stronger fireballs at the giant ship, forcing it to slow down.
“Ow ow ow. So very hot. I’m hot too, ship. See my candles.” The candles on the Ma’am’s cake sent flames back at the crew, so Chris and Aurora tried to grab and toss them back. In the meantime, the other crewmembers kept blasting the ship with their cannons, having to avoid when a fireball came at them.
“If only we can get around it.” Aurora said, her Flame Fury fading. “Can’t this thing go faster?”
“Faster than you!” Sheila smirked. “Watch this!” She ran to the back while spinning a charged Light Sphere. “HEEE-YUH!” She jumped off and PUNCHED the back of her own ship, sending it several meters forward.
“All right!” Aurora cheered. “Haylee, quick, turn it around!”
“What about Sheila?”
“She’ll catch up, just go.”
Haylee quickly turned the ship rightward, aiming to sail by the right of the Ma’am. The colossal ship meanwhile attempted to smash Sheila, but she gained footing and ran across the water, dodging the Ma’am just in time. She got back to her ship as the crew hurriedly blasted the larger ship’s cannons, knocking a few out. “Okay, let’s go for it.” Aurora powered up again. “HIIIIYAH!” She unleashed a powerful flame at the back-right mast, toppling it down. “OH-HOOOO-kay! Just keep firing and we’ll blow ‘er candles out in no time!”
They sailed behind the Ma’am as the others kept blasting, attempting to fire cannonballs above and strike the deck. Giant caramels with fireworks stuck in them were released from the back of the ship, so Chris and Aurora hurriedly shot fire to blow them up early, before they could reach their ship. They also attempted to blow up the ones that were just being released, resulting in the Ma’am being damaged. They were about to get on the ship’s left, seeing the next back mast. “I’ll handle this one.” the tiny Artie offered, flying up to that mast. Once at its base, he opened his pack and released a swarm of Chocomites, termites that ate chocolate. They ate off the base of the mast, causing it to topple as well.
“Okay! That just leaves the center mast and the face!” Aurora said.
They kept shooting the cannons along the port side, wiping them out as well. But Ho-ho Serpents soon emerged in front of them, forcing the kids to redirect fire and blast them to creamy pieces. “MATES, it’s turning around!” Sheila screamed.
“Uh-oh! HAYLEE, PORT!” At Aurora’s shout, Haylee rapidly spun the helm counterclockwise, turning their vessel and getting away before the Ma’am turned completely and almost smashed them. The creepy face on its keel smiled brightly at them as the cake’s candles shot flames. “We have to take this thing out! Don’t we have any secret weapons?”
“None that I remember programming.” Artie said.
“HEY, GUYS!” They looked over at Carol waving from her cargo ship. “I just remembered! When Marine was building that thing, she mentioned putting a supercannon in the keel! But it could only be used once, so it would have to count.”
“Now’s a better time than any.” Aurora said. “How do we fire it?”
“There’s a secret hatch by the keel! And it needs a few minutes to charge!”
They hurried over to rip this hatch open, finding two-sided handles on a circular bike-like device. “Haylee, get this ship turning, Sheila, start spinning it.” Aurora ordered. “The rest of you keep that big lunk back!”
Haylee parked the ship and rapidly began to turn it. Sheila gripped the handles tight and spun them faster than ever as the raccoon head’s mouth began to open, charging a golden light. The Big Ma’am drew closer and closer, its smile creepier than ever as it would enjoy nothing greater than crushing them into tiny pieces. The Sunny was finally turned completely, but was seconds from being crushed by the bigger ship. “SHEILA, WE NEED IT NOW!”
A wave caused by the Big Ma’am made the Sunny face upward slightly, but the charge finished in the nick of time and BLASTED the Ma’am’s head clear off.
“Eeeeeehhh.” The keel’s frowning, worried face fell right past them and splashed in the ocean. The cannon also blasted through the Ma’am and broke the base of the mast, causing it to come down.
“Ahhh! Quick! Grab the helm!” one of the Candy Pirates yelled.
“There IS no helm! That face was the only source of movement!”
“So that means… we’re sitting ducks.” He sat in depression.
“How the big and mighty fall.” Aurora shook her head.
Sheila sat on the Sunny’s keel and patted the head. “That’s a good cobber, Sunny. That’s a mighty good cobber!” (End song.)
The ship sailed away from the sitting Ma’am and approached the cyclone. They looked up as Carol floated to their deck with her parasol. “Sorry I couldn’t help, but I don’t do with cannons.” she remarked. “Too many broken nails.”
“’nuff said.” Dillon said.
A crane from her ship hauled over two boxes. The group peeked in, seeing her shrunken animals placed in separate cubicles in the boxes. “Awwww, they’re all so CUUUUTE!” Carol squealed with delight. “When I get home, I’m keeping them ALL tiny, and making my own MINI zoo!”
“You’ll have to expand them to fight, right?” Haylee asked. “Just how can you move well with those boxes, anyway? It feels like a burden.”
“I’ll get a few of those spinach guys to help carry them. Nice and easy!”
“A few of ze spinach ships are already Coated.” Henrietta mentioned, flying over on her helicopter. “Ve have enough for you all.”
Sheila turned to her crewmates as they all gave confident nods. Even though they were beaten before (and Artie can be squished with a fly-swatter), they looked more ready than ever. They were going to win this battle and swab those pirates! She hopped on the keel and faced forward. “LET IT Coat!”
Jessie used the last of his breath to encase their ship inside a sturdy, strong bubble. “Okay, HUUFF.” Jessie lied down. “That’s all. I’m saving the rest for battle, HUUUFF.”
“I just wish we could’ve made it before she ate Panini.” Chris said sadly. “Bro’ll never be the same.”
“Neither will Francis…” Aurora spoke with guilt.
“Hm? Vhat are you talking about?” Henrietta asked.
“Oh, we forgot to mention.” Mason spoke sadly. “When Big Mom found out we were Kids Next Door, she ate our friend, Panini. And now all our other friends have to keep her from burning Virginia.”
“Actually, she might not be dead.”
“Huh?” They looked up with hopeful faces.
“Because of ze Candy Curse, Big Mom’s digestive system is slow and faulty for ozer materials. Of course, if Panini is loaded vith sugar herself, ze digestion might go faster. Zat is, unless Panini has ze strength.”
“Oh, if there’s one thing about Panini, it’s her strength.” Chris smirked. “We still have a chance to save her! Boy, won’t Cheren be happy!”
“Then it’s time we get going.” Aurora smirked. “I made a promise to Francis, and I intend to keep it!”
“Vant to announce it, Sheila?” Heinie asked.
“LET’S GOOOO!”
“Ha ha ha! I was hoping for that.” Mason smiled.
And the ship sailed to the cyclone with no hesitation. The Spinach Fleet watched as the Coated vessel flew up through the maelstrom. “Now is OUR turn, i miei amici.” Amerigo announced. “Anyone willing, let’s GO!”
“YAAAAAHHH!” Their ship sailed in next, followed by others of the Spinach Armada, even the ones with no Coats. They put all their faith in these kids, and they were going to help them much as they can. For the good of Spinachia, and all spinach-lovers everywhere! They would win this battle.
Aaaaand there it ends. I honestly expected this to be much shorter. Amazing how much room fights take. So next time, we will finally go to Candied Island, and the characters will fight their respective Big Mom matches. And even more, most of them will demonstrate new abilities!
So somethin’ to look forward to. Later!
Chapter 11: Two Days
Spinach Fleet
“Ohhhh…” Mason and Sheila awoke on the deck of a ship.
“What did we just do…” Mason moaned.
“Blimey, I…I feel like me blood-sugar levels exploded. And yet, me mouth tastes like spinach…”
“You should-a be thanking us, no?”
The two looked up. They were surrounded by Spinach Soldiers, and not on the Sunny’s deck, but rather the deck of one in their fleet of ships. “You-a little children crashed here out of nowhere just-a SHAKING with sugar, until we fed you one of our-a special medical spinaches.” explained Amerigo Vespinachio. “We were just on our way to Canada to infect-a their farmlands with the same herbs. After all, no one can resist the Spinach Inquisition!”
And at that instant, the Spinach Monks burst into their classic song.
Just try it! You’ll like it!
It’s what we have to say!
Just taste it! You’ll love it!
There IS no other WAAAAY!
The SPIIINA-
“Yeahyeahyeahyeah okayokay.” Mason stopped them. “How did we get out here?”
“We-a just told you, you kids-a just fell from the sky. It scared a lot of our-a little saplings. We-a have never seen a kid so-a hyped on sugar. It reminded me of this story from long ago, about a little girl who ate a cake.”
“Sounds like a story we just heard.” Mason noticed. “Does it have to do with the First Kids Next Door?”
“I-a don’t know. But around 5,000 years ago, a little boy who loved vegetables saw one of his friends eat a cake that-a made her a sugary monster. The boy was repulsed-a, so he sought a way to counter such an atrocity, and found a land that was growing with spinach like no other-a. He invited others, and they all crowned the land La Spinachia, where that boy became the very first-a king. As-a you might surmise, he was the ancestor of the current-a king. Since then, the Spinachia Royal Family has-a made it their goal to spread the glory of spinach, and forever counter the evils that-a those candies bring. It has-a become a struggle, as our armada was always in the race with a fleet of candy-loving hoodlums, called-a the Big Moms.”
“The Big Moms?!” Mason exclaimed. “We just got our butts kicked by them!”
“OH!!” the men gasped. “You-a have clashed with the dreaded Pirate Emperor, Big Mom?” Amerigo asked.
“Well, not exactly… just her commanders. But then she ate one of our friends after figuring out we were from Kids Next Door.”
“Ay-ay-ay. So the two of us have a common enemy.”
“Hey, that’s right. Maybe YOU can help us defeat her!”
“OHHH HO HO HOOO!” They burst into laughter.
“You-a speak of the doomsday.” Amerigo laughed. “Many a fleet have tried to sail to Candied Island. But many ships have-a fallen during the voyage, and the ones who have-a reached never survive the candy terrain for long. Besides-a, Big Mom is a beast! Her power comes from that which makes normal humans weak: sugary sweets. No amount of spinach we feed will-a poison her for long.”
“Well blimey, there ‘as to be SOME way!” Sheila proclaimed. “I wanna kick Big Mom’s ass! I’ll use me own FISTS if I have to!”
“Hmmmmm.” The Spinach Men all stood in thought. “Well-a, there might be ONE thing that could work. There is a breed of vegetable so rich with healthy minerals, it can erase ANY trace of candy within the most hardened chocoholics. The Great White Asparagus-a.”
“Nay, but the Asparagus be untamable.” another man said. “All great fisherman who have tried ended as sustenance for its minerals. Well, they escaped, but… they could never taste anything else again.”
“Boys: allow me to introduce Sheila Frantic.” Mason said proudly, patting his friend’s back. “She’ll give that beast what’s coming to it! Right? Sheila?…” He noticed her glum face.
“Yeah, I know, just… I wish the other mates were here to go with me.”
“Sheila, I’m sure they wouldn’t just leave you. They probably intend to attack Candy Island with the full KND Armada.”
“But I just wanted it ta be the 11 of us! This is OUR adventure and OUR battle, and havin’ all those blokes just ruins it!”
“We’re teaming up with the Spinach Armada, anyway. But our friends will come back, I know it. We’ll go to Candied Island, and defeat Big Mom together!”
“Wrong, Mate.” Sheila smirked. “Ah’m takin’ out Big Mom myself! You blokes c’n just have the lackeys.”
“Heheh, takin’ her on by yourself, are you sure?”
“’ey, if I can kick one o’ the other Pirate Emperors’ butt, I c’n take this lardo. And that’s even MORE butt!”
“Heh, I don’t think Mandy was intentionally putting up a fight. She was probably just generous.”
“Speak of the devil!” Amerigo spoke up. “You’ve-a defeated Grim-Starer Mandy?”
“Maybe we’ll have a chance after all!” another exclaimed. “She is-a our long-awaited hero!”
“Put a cork in it, I ain’t your hero! I jus’ wanna kick this hag’s arse!” Sheila fist-palmed.
“Young-a children should not be cussing!”
“Pfft, I know a 7-year-old that cusses.”
“Look, let’s just find the White Asparagus and Sheila can tame it easy.” Mason said. “Where does it live?”
“It lives in the Asparagus Sea, which is-a any candy-lover’s nightmare. You’ll never-a see the Big Moms there, no no no.” Amerigo answered.
“Then let’s shove off!” Sheila pointed with bravado. “Big Mum’s gettin’ a HEALTHY dinnuh for once, and White Asparagus is on the menu!”
“Spinach Inquisition, SAIL-A forth-a!” And at Amerigo’s command, the fleet was off.
Candied Island
“Careful with those Licorice Stalks!” Augustus ordered as Nickel Joe’s henchmen hauled in the long stalks. “I’m not becoming the dead man who breaks them.”
Sir Knightly sheepishly walked in with the Rainbow Lolli. “Eh… Señor Augustus-senpai? I uh brokee de… lolli.”
Augustus noticed the slight crack. “Mmmm… well, hopefully that’s not too fatal. Is that all of the Wonders?”
Fat Jack had the Blurpleberry Supreme, Maggie dragged the refrigerator containing the Fourth Flavor (whoa, she was strong), Black John still had the Easter Bunny, Stewie brought the bag of caramels, and Rallo struggled to carry the Crystal Marshmallow above him. “Nnnnn-g-g! Who the hell puts a damn marshmallow inside a crystal?!”
“You have to hatch it by shining sunlight.” Augustus said. “But it’s extremely dangerous. The minute the crystal breaks, the marshmallow sends all the light back… and blinds anyone who looks.”
“HUH??” The pirates gasped.
“Yes, and that’s why it’s meant to be consecutive with the Rainbow Lolli. All of the blinding light will make the Lolli’s colors shine their greatest. Stewie, is the ultra-magnifier ready?”
“Right away, Mr. Won’t-take-his-jacket-off.” Stewie pressed a button, opening the room’s roof. A series of large magnifying glasses lined up above them, and the sun aligned perfectly. A beam of sunlight launched down and struck the hard crystal, making it alight and crack. The crystal exploded, and the pirates quickly looked away as the blinding light swallowed the whole room.
“THIS TOO MUCH TROUBLE for a maaaarshmalloooow!” Rallo cried.
“How long is this going to last?!” Lala screamed.
“About 2 days!” Augustus said, eyes closed tight, despite his sunglasses.
“I can’t put up with this for two daaaaays!” Rallo screamed.
“You won’t need to! Just hold up the Rainbow Lolli!”
“Oh!!” Sir Knightly raised the colorful lolli as the light already began to affect it. The Rainbow Lolli shined brighter than ever, and to their utter surprise, the light was gone. It had been sucked completely into the giant lollipop.
Augustus walked over and studied it. “There. It’s been imbued with pure light that’ll last for days, maybe weeks. It should be enough time to bake BOTH.”
“Oi, ‘ow long does it take to BAKE this cake, anyway?” Black John asked.
“Ironically, it takes 2 days as well, according to the part of the recipe I deciphered.” Lala replied. “It would’ve been a pain to wait for that marshmallow naturally.”
“Then it’s time to get started. Jack, you’ve gathered all the extra ingredients we needed, right?”
“Ahhhh.” Jack sucked his lollipop. “One thousand chicken eggs, 500 sacks of flour… Gonna be biggest cake ever, ahhhh.”
“Great.” Augustus smiled. “Did you hear all that, Mom?”
“Nyaaaaa! My room is FLOODING with my drooool! I can wait NO LONGER for this caaaake! We must BEGIN preparations now! While the Demon Sweets attack Virginia… I will be FEEDING like no tomorrow! And I must hurry fast… I am feeling a rumbling in my stomach. It must be something… I ate earlier. SOMEBODY bring me a thousand-gallon soda! I shall counter this rumbling WITH ANOTHER!”
Asparagus Sea
It took until sunset the next day before the sea took the form of green asparagus, rather than water. “This looks like the place.” Mason said. “You ready, Sheila?”
“Siiiigh.” Sheila woke up tiredly. “Are you sure? Ay’ve been waitin’ for ages.”
“Now, now, no-a need to be nervous.” Amerigo told her. “Just-a wear her down long enough for us ta catch her in our net.”
“Ay’m not nervous! Ay catch beasts like these to get me breakfast! Heck, I could wrangle a giant swordfish, why would Ah be afraid of a measly-”
“On your arms!” a spinach man yelled. “The beast APPROACHES-A!”
Sheila kept a battle stance when a group of asparagus began to shake. She focused tight, ready for what may come… but fast as lightning, the Great White Asparagus shot from the sea and forced its teeth into the ship’s side, but Sheila jumped back. “Not just YET!” Sheila didn’t hesitate to jump after it when it sunk back in the sea. She held tight to its head when the Asparagus emerged and tried to shake her off. “Oi, toss me a fish pole!” A Spinach Soldier hurriedly threw her a fishing rod, and Sheila hurled the lure down into the creature’s mouth.
The Asparagus submerged and began to swim around, the lure still in its mouth as Sheila held on and began to water-ski. It shot its head up and whipped around, attempting to catch Sheila in its mouth, but she jumped and punched its noggin, seemingly hurting it as it slowed.
“It’s-a hurt!” Amerigo announced. “Ready the net!”
A circle of ships faced the monster, each connected by strings leading into their cannons. The cannons fired at once, unleashing the ends of a huge net from the sea, which caught the Asparagus perfectly. The beast shook frantically, and ate through the strings.
One of the net pieces landed on Amerigo’s deck as Mason observed the green string. “Spinach? Who makes a net out of spinach?!”
“IT’S SORT OF OUR THING.” The Spinach Armada chorused.
“YOU PEOPLE ARE HOPELESS!!”
“Grrrr!” The Asparagus still tried to shake Sheila off, and began slamming its head in the water to loosen her grip. She was flung forward, looking up with a gasp as the leviathan lunged at her. She began to dodge around the veggie-filled sea, swimming forward to avoid its mouth of circles of teeth. It finally flipped her upward with its tail, then jumped to snap her in its mouth.
“SHEILA!!” Mason screamed.
“Hnnnnnn-nnnn!” Sheila stood in the very edge of its mouth, using each hand and foot to hold all four ends open. It roared and tried harder to close, but Sheila gave all her strength, the saliva from its mouth making her almost lose grip.
“Any minute now, she will-a be broken like little sticks-a!” Amerigo cried, shielding his eyes.
Mason glared at the monster. No way Sheila would let that happen. “HEY, SHEILA! YOUR ADVENTURE’S NOT OVER NOW, IS IT? DID YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO STOP? IF NOT, THEN WHY AREN’T YOU MOVING!”
Why wasn’t she indeed. Sheila didn’t want to stop now. And she didn’t want her bones broken like sticks. Her adventure wasn’t OVER! “HYYUH!” Quicker than she could think, she kicked both legs upward, bringing the rest of her body with the force and evading the beast’s snapping mouth. She came down and wrapped all arms and legs around its mouth, using all strength to hold it shut this time. “Ya think you’re gonna resist me for long? I tamed a giant swordfish! Don’t you think Ay’ve eaten YOU blokes for dinner a couple o’-” Her eyes perked in remembrance. With that, she stuck fingers in her mouth and made a whistle.
In the distance, a huge top fin stuck out from the sea and charged to the Asparagus. The Great Marlin jumped from the sea and slashed its blade at the beast, flinging Sheila off and onto the swordfish’s back. “GOME AWN, Mari! Let’s wrangle this bad boy! HIYAH!” She kicked the fish’s sides, and she swam forward to clash with the Asparagus. Marilyn jabbed its sword-nose while Asparagus gnashed its teeth, but the creature swam away while the swordfish chased.
“No meal escapes MY belly for long!” Sheila jumped and allowed the marlin to flick her with its tail, landing her on the Asparagus’s head. “I bet NO kid has ever done THIS before! AAAAAH-” And she forced her teeth into the vegetable’s flesh, making it cry in agony. “I for one think you’re delicious!”
“Rrrrr…” The fearsome beast finally settled down.
“OH!!” The Spinach Armada gasped. “The great beast-a has been tamed!”
“She is a child like no other-a!”
“Pyah ha ha ha!” Mason laughed. “That’s ‘cause no other kid was willing to eat it! But Sheila will try anything.”
“Hehehe! Bloke’s just stunned at havin’ part of HIM in someone else’s stomach. Pyah aaaah ha haaaa! He ‘as NO MORE to say!” Sheila patted the Asparagus.
They heard the pounding of a propeller and looked to see a candy-made helicopter flying from the distance. “Hey, it’s…it’s Henrietta!” Mason beamed. “MISS MARZIPAAAAN!” He waved excitedly.
“Hm hm hm!” She smiled and waved at the boy.
Heinie and Jessie & Sandy landed on Amerigo’s deck as they hauled the Great Asparagus on. “With our net-a broken, how are we expected to carry it-a?” Amerigo asked. “It’ll snap back to its senses any moment-a.”
“This ought to lessen his steam.” Henrietta said, tossing a Shrink Sweet into the monster’s mouth. The beast shook as its body began to compress. In the process, he coughed up a chubby man with a brown beard and withered shirt and shorts.
“I was in there for 20 years! What year is it??”
“2032, Mr. Wallace.” Mason replied.
“WHERE’S MY DADDY?”
“Ve’ll find his home later.” Heinie shrugged.
Sheila planted her foot on the shrunken Asparagus, who was now only 8 inches long. “HA HAAAA! Who’s gettin’ eaten NOW, Shrimpstuff?”
“Do not forget the plan-a, Sheila!” Amerigo yelled. “We are-a going to poison Big Mom-a!”
“Oh. So zat’s vhat it’s for.” Heinie noticed.
“Huh. Oh yeah, how’d you find us, Miss Marzipan?” Mason asked.
“You zipped over Sabaody Park and left ein colored, smoky trail. I assumed you had licked ze Rainbow Lolli. Zat’s a very dangerous Wonder; vone lick vill give you ze sugar rush of a lifetime. You must not have eaten a big amount if you are now healed. I’m just glad you didn’t lick it vhile it vas gloomy. That vould’ve had the opposite effect. Anyvay, the trail ended near Spinachia vaters, so… vell, I used mein common sense.”
“It was f**king boring.” Jessie said.
“HE CUSSED!!” They all screamed.
“You won’t tattle?” Sandy said with adorable eyes.
“NO, WE WON’T.”
“But vhere is the rest of your crew?” Heinie asked.
“We… kinda had a falling out.” Mason said sadly.
“But that ain’t gonna stop me!” Sheila fist-palmed. “I’m Sunny-Fist Sheila! And I ain’t scared of no virus. Ah’m tasting that cake first!”
This caught Heinie’s attention. “You know about ze virus?”
“Um, yeah.” Mason replied. “Willy Wonka told us about it; we found his hideaway. Big Mom is apparently our great-aunt!”
“…” Henrietta faced away. “Zat isn’t the only case.”
“Huh? Whaddyou mean?”
“…” Henrietta looked down with shame. “Big Mom is my… mom.”
“WHUUUUUUUH?!?” Everybody screamed with utter shock.
“Big Mom married a German man called Gustav von Marzipan, another candy fan. Linlin became her maiden name, and I vas born Henrietta von Marzipan. The Candy Virus hadn’t gotten to me yet, but she told me about it. She originally vanted me to find ze Sugary Vonders, and in mein quest, I met Abigail Lincoln, and zought I could use her to help me find zem. The time for ze Magic Caramels had come, and I vanted to trap her. But I ended up trapped instead, and blamed her for double-crossing me. At ze same time, I vas angry at Big Mom for causing me to lose my beautiful self; I zink, all along, she vanted me to be ze Caramels’ victim. So I left her. But as revenge, she ate mein father. I vas all alone.
“And yet, ze curse vas still vith me, so I made it mein goal to find ze Sugary Vonders myself, teaming up vith Stickybeard for ein time. All mein plans vere foiled, but on ze bright side, I regained mein beautiful self. I zought I vould never be free of zis virus… but zen, somezing happened that got rid of it vonce and for all.”
“What happened?” Mason asked. “(But please tone it down with the accent.)”
She looked at them seriously. “Twenty years ago, in my search for ze Rainbow Lollipop, ze Flying Dutchman shot down my helicopter, and I fell into Davy Jones’ Locker.”
The two kids gasped in remembrance.
“Just like vith Sector Z, ve vere trapped in a realm between life and death, removing any diseases or curses ve might have acquired while alive. Even zough my curse vas at birth, it was still eliminated. But then mein friends sailed me back to life. And vhen I had ze KND scientists run deep scans, zey showed nothing wrong in mein DNA. It vas like a dream come true…”
“Yeah… that is amazing!” Mason beamed. “Heh, to think a big nightmare could be gone just like that! I wonder if that’s how Malladus and Hannibal got rid of their wives’ curses…”
“But I’m not sure vhy Augustus ran away to join Big Mom. I had always assumed one of her agents kidnapped him, and she told him about ze curse. And she knew he vas ze only one with knowledge to find ze Sugary Vonders.”
“Well, the time has come to take Big Mom down.” Mason stated. “Where’s she live; where is Candied Island?”
“Its location… is in ze Bermuda Triangle.”
“Really? Feels like anyone could’ve found it; I mean, with Davy Jones outta the way-”
“Not quite. Zere is an old legend, back vhen the gods vere making this world. Zey had ideas for lands that greatly stood out compared to other mortal regions. Zey thought zese lands to be very unique, and didn’t vant too many people finding zem. So… zey placed zem on a sub-Earth, vhich Palkia placed into another dimension. Ze entrance can only be found on zis planet, as it is essentially connected to Earth, yet inaccessible anyvhere but a certain location. Ein humongous cyclone in ze Triangle is secretly a vortex leading to zis realm. But even zose who know it risk zeir life trying to sail in.”
“Then LET’S GO!” Sheila announced with enthusiasm. “WE’LL SAIL TO CANDIED ISLAND OR DIE TRYING! Such for the SAKE of adventure!”
“WE DON’T WANNA BE ADVENTURERS!” the Spinach Men cried.
“Actually, zere is a vay to make ze journey easier.” Henrietta smiled. “If a ship is encased in ze special Coating found at Sabaody Park, it could sustain from damage. Luckily, a certain somebody took me on a detour zere.” She looked at Jessie.
“Damn right I did! Oh! …But how can I coat these many ships?”
“If ve can’t coat zem all, it’s zere decision to come or not. They may risk dying. My only real fear is the members missing from your crew. Your success may…”
“Ahhh, whiskers, Henrietta!” Sheila waved off. “Me crewmates will be back, Ah just know it! ’Cause after all, as captain, I ain’t dismissed ‘em! Just SHOW US the way to fair Candied Island! No use waitin’ around for late adventurers!”
“Hm hm hm! Okay zen… let’s go! Today is ze day Big Mom falls! …Actually, tomorrow, since it vill take about a day to get zere.”
“Ehh, fair enough. LET’S GO!!”
“YAAAAAAYYY!”
Bermuda Triangle
At 5:00pm the next day, the Spinach Armada was entering the triangle, and the tremendous cyclone Henrietta spoke of was clear in the distance. “I’m assuming that’s where we’re headed.” Mason remarked.
“I ain’t seein’ any others.” Sheila said. “Otherwise, I’d be explorin’ them, too.”
“But where’s this Coating we’re supposed to use?”
Floating above them was Jessie and Sandy in a bubble-made boat, as the former carefully tried to blow a bubble through his wand. “Hold your butt, I’m trying to make it. You ever make 50-foot bubbles for 500 ships?”
“At least get ours.” Heinie said. “You probably can’t get zem all. But ve should go in first.”
“That’s… not going to be very easy.” Mason noted. They looked to the cyclone when a fleet of candy ships sailed out and began to blast cannonjawbreakers.
“LOOOOAD THE SPINACH GUNS!” a spinach man cried. The Spinachia Fleet blasted cannons loaded with green cannonballs, exploding into spinach that engulfed the whole decks of the ships upon impact.
“Heh-hey, that stuff actually works!” Mason beamed.
“Spinach is our thing, no?” Amerigo smirked.
“Just keep it up!”
“Ah’ll help, too!” Sheila spun her fists and began sending Light Spheres at the ships’ masts in attempt to break them.
“Guess we aren’t making that Coating.” Jessie figured. “Get ready, Sandy.”
“Right!” The two sailed their bubble boat forward, avoiding the cannonballs as Jessie whooshed his wand, sending a Bubble Torpedo at one of the masts and destroying it.
“Whoa!!” Mason gaped.
“MY turn!” exclaimed Sandy, whipping out two ropes of incredible length and leaping between two ships. “ROPE ACTION: TANGLED SHOELACE ATTACK!” She lashed the ropes to wrap around both masts and tied the other ends together, causing the ships to pull toward and ram each other. Jessie created a mini bubble skateboard and surfed around another deck, clogging the cannons with bubbles, so when they fired, the cannonballs caught and bounced right back, destroying the guns. Just as well, Sandy landed on the deck of another ship, catching all the cannons with her ropes, flipping them backwards, and making them shoot on the deck.
“Why aren’t these kids in Kids Next Door?” Mason face-palmed.
“’Cause Kids Next Door is old-time!” Sheila fist-palmed. “We’re the NEW generation! And we kick BUTT!” She spun and blasted a charged Light Sphere, destroying the front portion of a ship.
“Heh, this is too easy!” Mason beamed. “We’ll be at Candy Island in minutes!”
But unbeknownst to them, another evil waited beneath the depths. A great octopus made of sugary sweets emerged from the sea and gripped many spinach ships in its jelly-licorice tentacles. The soldiers tried to pierce them with spears, but the spears transformed into sugar and absorbed into the creature. “Don’t touch zose!” Henrietta cautioned. “It is vone of Big Mom’s Demon Sweets! Zey are monsters she ordered from Nightmare Enterprises, imbued vith her own DNA she sent over to Darkrai. Zey are meant to carry ze Candy Virus, so be careful!”
“GYAAAH!” Sheila frantically dodged before the octo smashed her with tentacles. Henrietta hurried over to slice the tentacles with swift Armament slices, but they were soon attacked by giant seasnakes designed like ho-hos.
“Eyaaaah!” Mason dodged the snakes’ cream-filled bites. “I stopped eating you guys years agoooo!”
“Watch-a out for the Caranhas!” a soldier screamed as block-shaped, caramel piranhas started jumping onto the deck in attempt to bite people.
Sheila hurriedly kicked away Caranhas, but one of them succeeded in biting her left toe. “YOW!” She kicked it quickly, but her heart raced in fear when her foot mutated into candy, and the virus seeped up her leg.
“HIIIISS!” A Ho-ho Serpent lunged down at Sheila, but a spiraling fireball shot into its mouth and drilled the top of its body before dropping to the deck. Sheila gasped when the flames cleared, revealing Chris and Aurora. “Mates!”
“Sheila, hold still!” Haruka dropped down with Dillon in his Shadow Glide, quickly forcing her fingernails in Sheila’s leg and absorbing the sugary substance from it.
“Haruka, what’re you doing?” Mason yelled with concern.
“I’ve come to grips with my parasite power. It isn’t what I wanted… but it helps.” Sheila’s leg was back to normal as Haruka’s arm became infected. “I think Caesar might’ve implanted his own DNA in this Devil Fruit. It’s packed with anti-bodies that can counter any harmful toxin. See?” They watched as Haruka’s sugary arm reverted to normal color.
“How did you learn that?” Mason asked.
“I had Mr. York fly me to Nightmare Land, and made Darkrai induce me with toooons of Fear Toxin.”
“Whoa.”
“It was the best way I could perfect this power. But don’t think I can use it on Big Mom’s curse; Darkrai thought I could only counter THESE creatures ‘cause they’re Nightmares.”
“But crikey, that don’t explain what you’re all doing here!” Sheila proclaimed. “What ‘appened? Where’s the bloomin’ KND Armada?”
“Gonna be preoccupied with defending Virginia, probably.” Aurora answered. “There was just one thing: we aren’t Kids Next Door. So we couldn’t go with ‘em.”
“But… I thought-…”
The 9 remaining Sector V members stared out the window, watching Mason’s escape pod fly out in the distance. “Siiiigh. They never hang around long enough.” Cheren sighed. “Well, before he was gonna leave, there’s something I wanted to tell all of you.”
“Hold on, Cheren.” Aurora suddenly spoke. “I think…I think Mason’s right. We can’t become Sector V again. Not until we have all our members. The ten- er… eleven of us,” she glanced at Carol, “are a family. That’s the way it’s always been.”
“Except for Cree’s time.” Harry noted.
“The point is, we’re not leaving Sheila behind. Our mission was to pose as pirates, and we’re going to see it through the end. So we’re not coming back to KND!”
“But we need to come up with a plan!”
“It’s not our business, Cheren. We’re not Kids Next Door right now. We’re pirates. And we follow our captain. …Right?” She looked at the others.
The other 8 exchanged glances. They couldn’t deny they were feeling the same way. “Well, since you just made the speech, we have to or we’ll feel guilty.” Harry replied.
Cheren sighed once more. “If we learned anything from our dad… halright, let’s turn this ship around-”
“Um, actually, Cheren… we may need to borrow a few ships.” Aurora spoke sheepishly. “If we’ll have a chance at defeating these pirates, we need to do some training. At least 2 days, we don’t know how much time we’ll have, so we’ll have to take a chance.”
“So you wanna head to Arctic Base?” Cheren asked.
“Actually, there’s somewhere in particular I want to go. And you all should do the same.”
“Hmmm… I think I get what you sayin’.” Harry said, standing up. “There’s somewhere I can go, too.”
“If THAT’S the case,” Carol stood confidently, “I’M asking my mom for more MONEY! Enough to drive those swabs crazy!”
Dillon rolled his eyes, still doubting this power. “Well, Aurora’s right, either way. We have to train and hurry to meet Sheila.”
“Yeah, we do.” Haylee replied. “But we should stop by Mrs. Chariton’s and resize Artie.”
“Actually, take me to the Undersea Lab.” Artie told them. “I think I can make do.”
Cheren was confused, needless to say. Why make a fuss about returning to your leader when you’re just splitting up? But he decided to roll with it. “Alright.” He shrugged. “We’ll get some ships ready.”
In minutes, the 9 kids were on aircrafts and flying different directions. “Well, what’re we gonna do about Big Mom??” Francis questioned. “She’s going to have Virginia burned for breaking the deal, isn’t she?”
“Sigh, yes, we’ll call every troop we can to come support us. We’ll just have to hope Sector V can take care of her.”
“Like we can.” Francis spoke with anger. “They let Panini die, how can they-”
“Look, Panini’s gone, I KNOW.” Cheren’s voice trembled when he said this. “I want to attack Big Mom more than anybody. But we can’t let anyone else we know get hurt, too. We have to protect our town and have faith in Sector V.”
“…” Francis still looked with remorse, “Okay.”
“The truth is, we left because we didn’t feel it was working, and we just couldn’t match your strength.” Aurora explained. “Except for Chris. But we just felt guilty about leaving you, and Mason sorta helped us realize that. So we decided… if we’re going to be in your crew, you deserve better. While we were on the transport, Haylee estimated it’d take 2 days to bake the cake, so we took that time to train. Then Haruka called us and said Darkrai told her Candied Island was in the Bermuda Triangle.”
“Siiiigh, I wish we coulda sailed into the scary cyclone WITHOUT knowin’ it led to another world, then it woulda been way more fun.” Sheila sighed.
“Yeah, but I’d still like to know whether or not we’re going to die.” said a tiny, mechanical fly, flapping beside them.
“OI, BLIMEY!” Sheila pointed frantically. “IT’S A TALKING FLY!”
“What? Sheila, it’s me!”
The raccoon squinted closer. “Artie?”
“Hehe! Surprising, huh? I figured if I’m gonna be a pipsqueak, I’ll need the right gear. So I whipped this suit up at the Undersea Lab! I call this ability Fly Style!”
“Pfft. Is that it? I can flick you with mah tail.”
“You say that now, but you haven’t yet seen my-” Sheila simply swatted him away with her tail. “Grrrr! You’re lucky I’m nice enough not to test it on you!”
“Heh heh heh! As long as I’M not the one wearing the shrink suit.” Mason laughed.
“ROOOAAAR!” Three more Ho-ho Serpents emerged from the depths, but Dillon caught them all in a Shadow Stitching.
“CLUTCH!” Dillon squeezed them in his shadow and smashed the creamy creatures, splattering their substance everywhere.
“Ew.” Haruka said.
Another group of Caranhas jumped onto the deck, but quick as a fly, Artie shot them all with turrets on the side of his armor. “Oi, where’re the others?” Sheila asked.
Ah was just on mah boat on Seven Seas
When mah crewmate turns and overboards, he pees
It made me puke, felt like I was a nuke
Made me wish I was home readin’ Marmaduke.
A blue ship sailed in the area as its giant stereos blasted rap music. Harry stood upon the front, wearing sunglasses and nodding to this tune. “HEEEEE-EEEEEY!” Behind them was a gigantic cargo ship, loaded with cages of animals as Carol waved joyously from the front. “Check it out! I brought my 3 parrots, 5 turtles, 10 camels, 7 kangaroos, 8 bears, 4 bulls, 9 tigers, AND my mutant CANARY!”
“HOW DOES A GIRL OWN THAT MANY PETS?” they all screamed.
“But they all share one thing: LOVE for MY MONEY!” She raised a bundle of dollars, making all the animals screech and shake frantically.
“Carol, there’s no WAY we can take that whole ship into the cyclone!” Mason told her.
“No problem! I got my mom to send a couple people to pick up enough Shrink Sweets and Growth Gum! And once we get ‘em all there, they’ll be READY to fight! Let me just work on shrinking them.”
“We got time to wait.” Haylee said, taking land beside them on her hang-glider, with Kirie on her back. “There’s still plenty of ships to take out.”
Indeed, about 10 ships were still patrolling the cyclone, and candied sea monsters with them. But before they knew it, the skies turned red, and the Big Mom crewmen were attacked by swarms of hungry, ravenous sea demons. “WAAAAAH! ABANDON SHIIIIP!” They jumped into the sea, but the demons easily claimed them as their prey.
The area was still normal to the others’ view, and had no idea why the monsters were fainting, and the crewmen abandoning ship. But they looked left and gasped, seeing the Boogey Coast sailing their way. A rope connected from the ship to the neck of the Sunny Day’s keel, pulling the smaller ship along. “It’s-a the Diavolo! Grim-Stare Mandy herself!” a spinach man gasped.
“OI, YOU WANT MORE OF THIS?” Sheila screamed. “I’LL HIT YOU SO HARD, YOU’LL GET A NOSE!”
The rope detached from the Sunny and retracted back into the Boogey. With that, the giant ship turned and sailed away. “Um… THANK YOU.”
“YOU KNOW, IF YOU COULD DO THAT, YOU’D BE A LOT OF HELP INVADING THIS PLACE.” Chris yelled.
“Ahhh, bonk her, mates. Let’s get back on the Sunny!”
Everyone except Carol (who was still shrinking her animals) hopped back to the Sunny Day, unfurling the sails. “The time ‘as FINALLY come, mates! There’s nothing else standing in our way! To CANDIED I-”
A larger cannonball blasted from the cyclone and crushed a group of spinach ships. A ship more massive than the lesser candy ships sailed out, squishing all of its failed underlings. It was the tasty, singing ship known as the Big Ma’am. “La la la, so many peoples, la la la, so much’s to squish.”
“IT’S-A THE BIG MA’AM!” Amerigo screamed.
“What the hell, is it singing?” Jessie questioned.
“Zat face is actually a Nightmare the Linlins ordered ages ago.” Henrietta explained. “It’s ein Nightmare that can possess any object without ein face. Zey hired it to control zeir ship; so essentially, it’s ze crew’s helmsman.”
“And also their top guard before enemy lines.” Chris observed.
“That ship may have a cruddy face,” Sheila fist-palmed, “but OURS ‘as a heart! Let’s see ‘ow much this excuse for an overgrown cake fairs against our little dinga!”
“O-kay!” Mason perked. “Raccoon Pirates: BATTLE STATIONS!”
“La la la, so so tiny, la la la, easy to kill.” (Play the “Ghost Ship Battle” theme from Zelda: Phantom Hourglass.)
Boss fight: Big Ma’am
The kids maneuvered the Sunny as the Big Ma’am tried to bombard them with jawbreaker cannonballs. Sheila and Chris punched light and fireballs at the ship’s side, but it didn’t have much effect. They quickly sailed the Sunny away as the Ma’am chased, so the kids took control of their own cannons and blasted the face. “Owie owie ow. So much pain, la la la, tiny balls hurt.”
“It’s still gonna catch up, we won’t be able to blast it to pieces in time!” Dillon yelled.
“Then maybe it’s my turn.” Aurora declared. “Time to put my training to the test.” She raised her right fist. “Flame Chi Gate: Open!” She touched it to her chest, and to their amazement, her body was engulfed in flames.
“WHOA!” They gaped.
“Heheh! Each bender can open their Chi Gate and unleash a stronger burst of their power! ‘Course, you get exhausted quicker, so I’ll try to conserve. I actually have another power too, but, I’ll show you later. In the meantime:” She shot bigger, stronger fireballs at the giant ship, forcing it to slow down.
“Ow ow ow. So very hot. I’m hot too, ship. See my candles.” The candles on the Ma’am’s cake sent flames back at the crew, so Chris and Aurora tried to grab and toss them back. In the meantime, the other crewmembers kept blasting the ship with their cannons, having to avoid when a fireball came at them.
“If only we can get around it.” Aurora said, her Flame Fury fading. “Can’t this thing go faster?”
“Faster than you!” Sheila smirked. “Watch this!” She ran to the back while spinning a charged Light Sphere. “HEEE-YUH!” She jumped off and PUNCHED the back of her own ship, sending it several meters forward.
“All right!” Aurora cheered. “Haylee, quick, turn it around!”
“What about Sheila?”
“She’ll catch up, just go.”
Haylee quickly turned the ship rightward, aiming to sail by the right of the Ma’am. The colossal ship meanwhile attempted to smash Sheila, but she gained footing and ran across the water, dodging the Ma’am just in time. She got back to her ship as the crew hurriedly blasted the larger ship’s cannons, knocking a few out. “Okay, let’s go for it.” Aurora powered up again. “HIIIIYAH!” She unleashed a powerful flame at the back-right mast, toppling it down. “OH-HOOOO-kay! Just keep firing and we’ll blow ‘er candles out in no time!”
They sailed behind the Ma’am as the others kept blasting, attempting to fire cannonballs above and strike the deck. Giant caramels with fireworks stuck in them were released from the back of the ship, so Chris and Aurora hurriedly shot fire to blow them up early, before they could reach their ship. They also attempted to blow up the ones that were just being released, resulting in the Ma’am being damaged. They were about to get on the ship’s left, seeing the next back mast. “I’ll handle this one.” the tiny Artie offered, flying up to that mast. Once at its base, he opened his pack and released a swarm of Chocomites, termites that ate chocolate. They ate off the base of the mast, causing it to topple as well.
“Okay! That just leaves the center mast and the face!” Aurora said.
They kept shooting the cannons along the port side, wiping them out as well. But Ho-ho Serpents soon emerged in front of them, forcing the kids to redirect fire and blast them to creamy pieces. “MATES, it’s turning around!” Sheila screamed.
“Uh-oh! HAYLEE, PORT!” At Aurora’s shout, Haylee rapidly spun the helm counterclockwise, turning their vessel and getting away before the Ma’am turned completely and almost smashed them. The creepy face on its keel smiled brightly at them as the cake’s candles shot flames. “We have to take this thing out! Don’t we have any secret weapons?”
“None that I remember programming.” Artie said.
“HEY, GUYS!” They looked over at Carol waving from her cargo ship. “I just remembered! When Marine was building that thing, she mentioned putting a supercannon in the keel! But it could only be used once, so it would have to count.”
“Now’s a better time than any.” Aurora said. “How do we fire it?”
“There’s a secret hatch by the keel! And it needs a few minutes to charge!”
They hurried over to rip this hatch open, finding two-sided handles on a circular bike-like device. “Haylee, get this ship turning, Sheila, start spinning it.” Aurora ordered. “The rest of you keep that big lunk back!”
Haylee parked the ship and rapidly began to turn it. Sheila gripped the handles tight and spun them faster than ever as the raccoon head’s mouth began to open, charging a golden light. The Big Ma’am drew closer and closer, its smile creepier than ever as it would enjoy nothing greater than crushing them into tiny pieces. The Sunny was finally turned completely, but was seconds from being crushed by the bigger ship. “SHEILA, WE NEED IT NOW!”
A wave caused by the Big Ma’am made the Sunny face upward slightly, but the charge finished in the nick of time and BLASTED the Ma’am’s head clear off.
“Eeeeeehhh.” The keel’s frowning, worried face fell right past them and splashed in the ocean. The cannon also blasted through the Ma’am and broke the base of the mast, causing it to come down.
“Ahhh! Quick! Grab the helm!” one of the Candy Pirates yelled.
“There IS no helm! That face was the only source of movement!”
“So that means… we’re sitting ducks.” He sat in depression.
“How the big and mighty fall.” Aurora shook her head.
Sheila sat on the Sunny’s keel and patted the head. “That’s a good cobber, Sunny. That’s a mighty good cobber!” (End song.)
The ship sailed away from the sitting Ma’am and approached the cyclone. They looked up as Carol floated to their deck with her parasol. “Sorry I couldn’t help, but I don’t do with cannons.” she remarked. “Too many broken nails.”
“’nuff said.” Dillon said.
A crane from her ship hauled over two boxes. The group peeked in, seeing her shrunken animals placed in separate cubicles in the boxes. “Awwww, they’re all so CUUUUTE!” Carol squealed with delight. “When I get home, I’m keeping them ALL tiny, and making my own MINI zoo!”
“You’ll have to expand them to fight, right?” Haylee asked. “Just how can you move well with those boxes, anyway? It feels like a burden.”
“I’ll get a few of those spinach guys to help carry them. Nice and easy!”
“A few of ze spinach ships are already Coated.” Henrietta mentioned, flying over on her helicopter. “Ve have enough for you all.”
Sheila turned to her crewmates as they all gave confident nods. Even though they were beaten before (and Artie can be squished with a fly-swatter), they looked more ready than ever. They were going to win this battle and swab those pirates! She hopped on the keel and faced forward. “LET IT Coat!”
Jessie used the last of his breath to encase their ship inside a sturdy, strong bubble. “Okay, HUUFF.” Jessie lied down. “That’s all. I’m saving the rest for battle, HUUUFF.”
“I just wish we could’ve made it before she ate Panini.” Chris said sadly. “Bro’ll never be the same.”
“Neither will Francis…” Aurora spoke with guilt.
“Hm? Vhat are you talking about?” Henrietta asked.
“Oh, we forgot to mention.” Mason spoke sadly. “When Big Mom found out we were Kids Next Door, she ate our friend, Panini. And now all our other friends have to keep her from burning Virginia.”
“Actually, she might not be dead.”
“Huh?” They looked up with hopeful faces.
“Because of ze Candy Curse, Big Mom’s digestive system is slow and faulty for ozer materials. Of course, if Panini is loaded vith sugar herself, ze digestion might go faster. Zat is, unless Panini has ze strength.”
“Oh, if there’s one thing about Panini, it’s her strength.” Chris smirked. “We still have a chance to save her! Boy, won’t Cheren be happy!”
“Then it’s time we get going.” Aurora smirked. “I made a promise to Francis, and I intend to keep it!”
“Vant to announce it, Sheila?” Heinie asked.
“LET’S GOOOO!”
“Ha ha ha! I was hoping for that.” Mason smiled.
And the ship sailed to the cyclone with no hesitation. The Spinach Fleet watched as the Coated vessel flew up through the maelstrom. “Now is OUR turn, i miei amici.” Amerigo announced. “Anyone willing, let’s GO!”
“YAAAAAHHH!” Their ship sailed in next, followed by others of the Spinach Armada, even the ones with no Coats. They put all their faith in these kids, and they were going to help them much as they can. For the good of Spinachia, and all spinach-lovers everywhere! They would win this battle.
Aaaaand there it ends. I honestly expected this to be much shorter. Amazing how much room fights take. So next time, we will finally go to Candied Island, and the characters will fight their respective Big Mom matches. And even more, most of them will demonstrate new abilities!
So somethin’ to look forward to. Later!
![[Commission] Captain Caveman Samurai Jack](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/e3996a62-0c9d-42b6-b715-0b1fb85b5788/dgye8bg-eee274a1-7394-4ea8-8d2d-a7ca56d0b17f.jpg/v1/fit/w_300,h_900,q_70,strp/_commission__captain_caveman_samurai_jack_by_admiraldt8_dgye8bg-300w.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MTA0MyIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2UzOTk2YTYyLTBjOWQtNDJiNi1iNzE1LTBiMWZiODViNTc4OFwvZGd5ZThiZy1lZWUyNzRhMS03Mzk0LTRlYTgtOGQyZC1hN2NhNTZkMGIxN2YuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEwMjQifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.7Rld-IjYDrGzLe-gRDe__1bTnEg4now8N82MqR0DZYc)
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