Third Gen: Operation: COSMIC, Part 10

In this part, we’ll begin a new and important side quest!

Part 10: Legend of the Seven Stars

Fight Hole (Play “Mayahem Kickball Colosseum” from Banjo-Tooie!)

There was no better way to refresh than with combat sports. Star and Kid returned to Swap Moon Mall to see what new challenges were available at the arena. “Do the Mario” sounded like a fun one! After signing up for the challenge, a large slide would hang down toward the arena. “Our staff have collected dozens of fiends from Mushroom World!” Prince Zurk announced. “And we’re about to dump them right down the Fight Hole! Star and Kid will need their best gloves to clean THESE pipes!”

A horde of spike-hatted Goombas came sliding. Star used the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R. to mow down a chunk of them while Kid shot the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R.. The Goombas jumped to try and puncture the boys upon landing; though they didn’t hurt Kid, too many of them would stick to his gooey frame. “Hey, I just thought of something.” Kid said. “Since Mario was designed as a plumber, were the Goombas meant to be poo?”

“BLINK-BLINK!” The Goombas swelled up in rage. “BLINK-BLINK!”

“GREAT, Kid, now all of Goomba kind is after your head!”

“AAAAH! NOT POO! NOT POO!”

The Sprinkle S.P.O.R.E. and P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K. were great for defeating the rest of them. Afterwards, pipes would erect around the whole arena, Piranha Plants popping out of them. They spat their elements quickly, throwing the boys into disarray from how many directions the attacks came from. Star chilled the Fire Piranhas with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R.; Kid washed the Putrid Piranhas with the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R.; the S.C.H.O.O.L. piranhas munched the basic Piranhas; the A.B.D.U.C.T.O.Y. took the spikeballs away from the Ptooies.

After weeding out all the plants, the arena became divided into several small platforms with Piantas on them. “These Piantas are here for chuckster practice! And guess who’s the fruit?”

“Here we go again.” Star said. They had to make sure to speak with each Pianta at an angle lined up with the next platform. The first one stood still, so it was easy. “Hi! I’m a chuckster!” He HURDLED the duo across the lava onto the platform. The next Pianta walked left and right, but what was even tricker was the Lava Bubbles bouncing along the throw path. They had to time a good angle at the same time as avoiding the bubbles. Star tanked a burn from the tricky throw. The next Pianta was going to throw them straight up at a floating platform. There were spikes underneath it, with one gap in a middle-corner, so they waited for the Pianta to walk underneath. “Hi! I’m a chuckster!” It was a tight throw that nearly missed.

The final throw was a vast one, but it led to the Goal. There were three Piantas to choose from: a large, a medium, and a small one. “Kid, let’s ask the small one to throw us.”

“Wouldn’t the big guy have a stronger arm?”

“Trust me, Kid.” Star put a hand on his shoulder assuringly. With that, they lined up with the Goal and spoke to the little guy. “Hyuhyuhyuhyu hi! I’m a chuckster!”

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” He flung them with the speed of a roller coaster! The boys landed almost-neatly on the Goal as the arena returned to normal.

“It’s time for our plumbers to get messy! …er! If they don’t win this round, they’ll go SPLAT!” A band of eight Inklings and Octolings jumped in the ring, each wielding a different weapon as they were quick to soak the boys in ink. Star tossed the S.C.H.O.O.L. to kid, having him send the piranhas out to feast on some calamari, while Star froze them in moss with the S.P.O.R.E.’s sprinkler. Kid alternated between the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R. and H.O.M.E.R., but as the Ink-Octolings surfed the ink and dodged in their smaller forms, Kid applied similar evasion with his goop. They were able to splat seven of the Ink-Octolings, but one still evaded them: she was zipping around between four high pillars and shooting them with a sniper scope. All Star had to do was shoot her down with the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E..

“They scrubbed those Inklings as easily as Mario scrubbed Delfino! Star and Kid are the WINNEEEEERRRRRRS!”

The next match they selected was Beasts of Solana. “After bribing the Solana Nature Preserve, Fight Hole is proud to present the grossest and nastiest creatures from Veldin to Bogon!”

Swarms of green blobs with furious expressions were dumped into the arena. “Star! Giant boogers!” Kid shouted.

“Amoeboids! A little ice will harden them!” The Amoeboids were fusing into a gigantic entity, so it took an onslaught of S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R.s to freeze it solid. He then used the S.P.O.R.E. to blast it back into pieces, which Kid electrified at wide range with the P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K.’s shockwaves. Once they were all melted, the arena filled with sand as Sandsharks sprouted out; bipedal, child-size red sharks. Kid matched them with the S.C.H.O.O.L., but as the air filled with Mutant Sandflies, Star stitched them together with the S.P.I.T.R.A.P. before having the A.B.D.U.C.T.O.Y. carry bunches away. This round would end with a Dunebeast ambushing them; a large, floating brown beast with one pink eye, a large head, and a skinny body. Star tossed Kid the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R., while he himself sniped the beast’s eye with the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E.. This would keep the Dunebeast stunned enough for Kid to charge the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R.’s laser and finish it off.

“Let’s amp up the stakes for this round! Can Star and Kid defeat these angry Kerchu while outrunning a swarm of hungry Tetramites?!”

“T-Tetramites?!” Star gulped. A hatch opened on the ground, erecting a nest. “Kid, Space Ball, NOW!” A swarm of insects quickly skittered out with gaping maws of iron teeth. Kid screamed as the scary bugs chased their little ball. One by one, Kerchu were dropped on the arena, and as the boys rolled by them, the Tetramites reduced them and their weapons to bones and dust. After 10 Kerchu filled their tummies, the Tetramites returned to their nest as it went back underground.

“It seems Star and Kid have cleared another match, folks! They’re deserving of a reward~”

The ground hatch opened again: a caged Spoof rose up from it. She looked so sad in her little prison. “Awe.” Kid smiled and went to free the little kitten. She mewed at him gratefully. “MMMHHHHEEEEE!” But then, her face ripped into three toothed tentacles! “MEE! MEE! MEE! MEEEEEE!”

“AAAAHHH!” Kid cried and ran from the monster—Star frantically shot it with the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E. and made sure to doubly finish it with some Bomb Spores! The audience burst into laughter from the cruel prank.

“You bastards!” Star yelled. “How could you do that to poor Kittentia?!”

“Hahaha! Imperial Prince Zurk loves deceptive cuteness! Now onto the real final round!”

Two Grunthors and a Gargathon (from Polaris’ Thram swamps) appeared, roaring at the tiny prey. The kids bombarded them with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. and S.P.O.R.E., with the stunning damage giving Star time to charge energy in the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R.. It was then a Bursting Blekko was dropped in the ring. “Kid, we can use that!” The Blekko charged at Star, threatening to explode, but he used Gravity Shift to pick it up and throw it between all three beasts. The explosions greatly wounded them. Star finished the Gargathon off with the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E., shooting right down its gaping green throat. They defeated the Grunthors with a few more rounds of their heavy-hitting weapons.

“Ha ha! That’s another round for the books, Kid!” Star invited his friend for a double high-five.

“The Cosmic Heroes are th…the strongest around!” Kid accepted the fives!

Star caught the stutter in his excitement and frowned.

As the boys skimmed the contest list, one of them caught their attention. “‘And the E.M.M.I. Goes To…’?” Star read. “And it’s only one round. Don’t tell me they actually have an E.M.M.I. here?”

“Maybe that means it’ll have a new power for you.”

“The reward just says it’s a Gold Bolt. Why don’t you take a break for this one, Kid? I just wanna see what this is about.”

“Well…okay.”

“I hope Star is a computer expert.” Zurk announced as Star entered the ring. “Because Star will have to hack for his life!” A glass pyramid was lowered into the ring, while the bridge leading out of the arena was locked by a computer terminal. There was a green E.M.M.I. at the top of the pyramid. “This cheap model of an unstoppable security android is hungry for Star’s blood! If he doesn’t hack the terminal and escape in time, he’ll become the E.M.M.I.’s lunch!”

The E.M.M.I. powered on and scanned Star. Going into Pursuit Mode, it began to crawl its way down and around each floor of the pyramid. Star quickly attached Ed’s Tomato to the computer. In Ed’s 8-bit level, she had to web her way up a series of asteroids while shooting down lions. Unfortunately, this level was sort of a maze; she had to navigate the right sequence of asteroids to find the goal. “Come on, Ed, hurry!” Star ushered. She wasn’t able to make it before, “CRUD!!” the E.M.M.I. found the pyramid’s exit and grabbed Star. “BEDEBEEP!” But where he expected a needle to puncture him, he was instead punched by a boxer’s glove.

“Sorry, Star, but it appears you’ve been SUCKER PUNCHED. Do you dare to try again?”

“Well, knowing my life isn’t in danger now, heck yeah!”

The second attempt went a lot better than the first. Ed managed to find the goal by the time the E.M.M.I. was on the second-to-last layer. The exit bridge opened, so Star bolted across before the droid could lay its claws on him. “Star makes a clean escape and spares his face a fate most foul!”

“Ha ha!” Star and Kid laughed as a Gold Bolt became their trophy. “Good thing that wasn’t a normal E.M.M.I., huh?”

“Darn right, champ! Anyhoo, I think that’s enough training for now. Let’s hit the stardust.” (End song.)

After enjoying an alien lunch at Vrepit Sal’s, Star and Kid returned to the W.A.R.P.S.T.A.R. and made the drive back to Galaxia. “You sure you’re okay, Kid?”

“Yes, I’m okay!” Kid shouted defensively. “Why do you keep asking me?”

“Because I can tell you’re still upset!”

“Only ’cause we keep getting our butts kicked! That doesn’t mean I wanna give up! Heroes don’t give up!”

“I feel the same way, Kid. But that doesn’t mean I’m not afraid. Every time we run into those E.M.M.I., and now those parasites… my heart’s going a million light-years a minute. I can only imagine how you feel though. You’re not even an operative.”

“I know… but I didn’t even feel this way before. Except in the cold areas… ’cause I couldn’t turn goopy.”

“You’re not used to getting hurt. If it wasn’t for your power… well… for most kids, it would’ve been fatal.”

“Hmmm…”

Star wasn’t helping him feel any better. “…I really relied on my spacebending, too. I could fly around, warp wherever I want, be whatever size I want… and now it feels like all that training I did with it just didn’t matter. These limited bending techniques require whole new strategies. So, all I can say is… if you wanna keep being a hero, try to assume any injury can be fatal. Instead of relying on your goo, rely on your fear.”

“I guess so…”

“Hey, I know what’ll make you feel better. We got these Star Glitter doughnuts during Christmas and they taste SO good. There’s still some left, so how about we swing by my place and you can have ’em?”

“Oh! Okay!”

“Haha, that’s the spirit!”

It felt refreshing to come home after a long, cosmic road trip. Kid followed Star eagerly into his house as he showed him the two remaining doughnuts. They were star-shaped with white frosting, dotted with gold and pink sprinkles, with small globs of various-colored icing meant to look like planets. Kid shoved the entire first one in his mouth. It was a galaxy of tastes that reinvigorated his spirits! “I thought there was three of them. Maybe Mom took one.” Star figured.

“Star!” A girl chirped in the doorway. The boys found a Goomba with puffy brown hair. “You’re home!”

“Hey, Goombria. What brings you here?”

“Yesterday, I came to deliver some homework to your mom (and to ask for one of your doughnuts), but then… I found something strange in the Star Sanctuary. I came back to study it some more. Let me show you.”

With Kid chewing the second doughnut, the three walked into the sanctuary. “Oh!” The seven pillars where the Star Spirits used to rest were glowing with planets over them. “When did this happen?”

“I don’t know.” Goombria replied. “But look at the writing on the bottoms. It’s written in the Mushroomians’ ancient Astrolese language. I’ve been working on translating them. The one that has Mushroom World above it reads, ‘Fulfill the princess’s duty and return the lost child to the stars.’ And that planet that looks like Saturn, it says, ‘Will the poor monkey never taste her favorite comet?’ That planet says, ‘The cob mountain longs for a bountiful harvest.’”

“Interesting… Come to think of it, Kid, remember when we touched that Rosalina statue? And those seven stars flew off? What if this happened because of that?”

“But what does it all mean?”

“It can only be… Jirachi.”

“You really think Jirachi left these messages?” Goombria asked.

“Either him or Rosalina. But why else would they appear here? It has to be about Jirachi! If we could find whatever these clues mean, maybe we could find him.”

“I guess we have our next mission then!”

“For now, it’s not a bad angle to follow. Let’s check out Mushroom World first. We have some unfinished business there, anyway.”

Mushroom World (Play “Outer Space” from Super Paper Mario!)

Using Galaxia Elementary as a hub between the areas of Mushroom, Star and Kid made their way back to the Super Pachinko machine in the sky. Thanks to the Space Ball, they could now enter the machine’s entrance, using its spring pad to shoot up inside it! They had to shift their momentum to be able to land in the three slots where the portly students were trapped. This was tricky to pull off, and if they fell through the hole at the bottom, they would fall through a rift dropping them back in the Boulder Bowl Islands. Boy, did they learn this the hard way. But with enough attempts, they landed on the obese Osirin, Anouki, and Mobian hippo; Star could shrink them into the Space Ball as well. Each of their slots connected to a slide in the back of the pachinko, which led down to the entrance.

“Thanks for finally getting those guys outta there!” the Noki said. “I lost several days’ worth of profit because of them! I’ll make sure to bill their families. For now, why don’t ya take this shiny bolt?” They earned a Gold Bolt!

The question then was where to go next. Rosalina’s Gateway didn’t yield any answers. The boys fell back down the pachinko’s rift to Boulder Bowl, and they noticed another pathway right of the starting island. They could use Space Balls to get to it, but Banzai Bills were constantly flying from up the path. Star used Warp Dash to zip himself and Kid through the Bills and reach the rift they were coming from.

They landed on a walkway along Battlerock Station, a space station built into a large asteroid. Breaking into a speed boost, Star and Kid raced the walkway, dodging other Banzai Bills. They hit a dead end with an arrow aimed diagonally right, so they Shinesparked in that direction and landed on a saucer platform! The two would have to jump a sequence of saucer platforms as storms of Bullet Bills rained down. A bunch of them would target the first saucer, then the second, but when they looked ahead, another bullet storm was striking the saucers from the opposite end. Star planted a Warp Space on their current saucer before jumping ahead, so when the storm threatened to strike them from both ends, they warped back to that saucer to avoid them.

They crossed the saucers and were lined up with a vent they could Gravity Shift onto, but upon landing on it, they smashed through the vent and fell down its shaft. They maneuvered midair to dodge electric currents before ultimately falling through the opposite vent and landing on another platform in space. This platform was piled with metal scrap, with a Gearmo robot trying to sweep it up with a broom. “Oh, great!” she yelled at the boys, steam bursting from her bolts. “Who keeps dropping garbage down here?! Wait… you’re organic trash.”

“Takes one to know one.” Kid remarked.

“I don’t suppose you’ve seen any other kids fall down here?” Star asked.

“None that I know. Although one rude ship dropped a cheap android into the pile. If only I had some explosives to get rid of all this!”

“Maybe we can help with that.” Star shot Bomb Spores around to reduce all the debris into space dust. Not only did they find a small, round rift, they found a yellow, can-shaped robot with blue eyes.

“Please, desist bombing.” He alerted. “I am not trash.”

“X-5!” Star beamed at his robotic classmate. “How did you wind up in a dump?”

“After Betty and I split up to search for students, I discovered one of Maximus’ ships parked on a planetoid. Unfortunately, I was captured and thrown out here.”

“Maximus is here?!”

“Who’s that?” Kid asked.

“Another of Vilgax’s officers. He’s been causing trouble around Galaxia the past year. Though, according to Betty’s reports, he’s not the most competent cat in the litter.”

“Which only makes it a pity that we’re always the sector sent to stop him.” X-5 said.

“Either way, we can’t let him cause any trouble. We’ll take it from here, X-5. You get back to school.” Star and Kid compressed into a Space Ball to enter the small rift.

It led into a narrow, damp tunnel, from which they would roll out into a water cavern: the Slimy Spring. There were grass-topped platforms that served as natural fountains, pouring water down the sides as shallow water covered the floor. As the boys resized, Kid smiled and splashed around in the ankle-deep water, sparking a smile from Star. To their right was a vast area of the cavern with stalagmites and stalactites, while the cavern sank underwater to their left. The boys proceeded to go for a swim. The cave was filled with Snoodles (tube worm-like creatures) growing from the walls, but the S.C.H.O.O.L. would force them to give the boys some leeway.

They arrived at a jungle of seaweed, most of which were actually Komboo. Two of the Komboo were strangling a girl with a light-red skin and an orange dress, the bangs of her pale-orange hair covering her eyes. Star recognized her as Padparadscha, a Gem student. Star diced the Komboo with the S.C.H.O.O.L. and rescued her. “Star and his Earthling friend are about to rescue me! …Oh, hello Star and friend!”

Unable to answer underwater, Star smiled, thumbed up, and gestured her to get back to class. “Before I go, I should tell you you’re about to find X-5 in a garbage pile.”

Star and Kid swam to the end of the tunnel, pouring into a waterfall. Fortunately, there was a ledge just beneath the fall they could land on. “But we already found X-5.” Kid said.

“I know. She sort of has a reverse ‘Future Sense’ and predicts stuff that already happened.” To cross the chasm from this ledge, the boys jumped a series of platforms with waterfalls pouring between them, using Warp Dash to go through them. There was a rift inside the last waterfall, and before they knew it, they were pouring through a stone cyclone. “WHUH?!” They only had a second to observe it; a cylindrical group of stone blocks floating in the sky, surrounding the stream of water that poured from one rift to the other. There was a Grav-Space they could’ve shifted onto; if Star thought to do it in time.

The following rift poured them down a waterfall on Gold Leaf Island, an autumn Sky Island. They splashed in the island’s central pond. Passing waves to the local Honeybees and Flutters, Star and Kid climbed on shore and traversed the uphill path around the pond. There was a vine swing they used to swing up onto a platform with a rift. They had to hit a switch to open the rift’s bars, connecting a shortcut back to Slimy Spring. “Cool. We’ll be able to loop back around and try that Stone Cyclone again.”

So, they did, swimming back through the water tunnel, jumping through the waterfalls again. When they flowed down the Stone Cyclone again, Star Grav-Shifted them onto the available platform. Afterwards, they climbed over it to the outside of the cyclone. They navigated around the cylindrical structure, dodging inside the open gaps of Tox Boxes and jumping shifting rectangles over the water stream. They reached the opposite end of the cyclone and found a gargoyle student, Gilron. “Heeeey! You found me, Star!”

“I guess you couldn’t find a higher pedestal than this. Actually, Galaxia Elementary is higher than this! You should go back there.”

“Meh, you’re a poor sport.” Gilron dove down the water stream and warped. Star and Kid would go back down as well, returning to Gold Leaf Island. They traveled further uphill and would have to jump flower platforms along a cliffside—the first one gave in from their weight as they splashed back in the pond. They would try again, this time in the Space Ball’s condensed size. The flowers would support the ball as they carefully bounced up each flower, missing a few times and falling in the pond. In time, they were successful as the flowers led them up to a group of flat log bridges.

They had to stay in Space Ball form to fit on the narrow logs. Mandibugs (large purple beetles) would charge to pinch and throw them off, so the boys had to jump them while staying balanced on the logs. They would conclude at a large platform where a cloaked child was waiting. “Didi, is that you?”

“Ah!” She whipped around. Clothed in a dark-orange robe and hood, she was a Zeenuian, with minty-green skin and glasses. “S-S-Star! Thank goodness. Th-There are bees e-everywhere.”

“Relax, they’re not the kind that sting. Just wait here, I’ll call the teachers.”

“Okay. B-By the way, I-I saw Betty on that planetoid over there.” She pointed at a planetoid with large flowers floating over it.

“Thanks. We’ll go get her.” Star could Gravity Shift them toward the close-by planetoid, but they would fall through the flowers just like before. Cataquacks roamed the planetoid. The boys compressed into Space Ball and allowed one to fling them up onto the flowers. They bounced across the flowers as they ascended higher, leading to a rift.

This rift dropped them on what seemed to be Mushroom’s moon. The ground was rugged with numerous carved, stone stars lying around. “I think this is the Blobule region on the moon.” Thanks to the low gravity, they could make great leaps up the tall, natural steps of a cliff. Beepboxes (boombox-headed pink aliens) tried to blast them off with soundwaves, but Kid zapped them with the P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K.. A large, teal gate blocked their way, but there was a star slot next to it. With the many stone stars dotting the plateau, Star needed to pick up the correctly-sized one with gravity and insert it.

The gate opened to a greater valley, where an invasion became apparent. “Those are the Blobules!” They were aliens consisting of a stem, separating their eyes from their mouth. The beady eyes were on an orb-shaped top, while the mouth was on an ovular bottom with stubby legs beneath it. The Blobules were being chased by muscular, larger blood-colored ninjas. “But those things aren’t from around here!”

Star used the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E. to snipe two of the Morbidian Blood Monks. He saw two more cornering a Blobule, but someone else leapt to their rescue: a ponytailed, red-haired girl with green eyes, pink dress, and white gloves and boots. She leapt to knock out the monks with nimble kicks, her smaller physique showing no shortage of strength. “Betty!” Star was first to race up to the human student.

“Star! Didn’t expect to see you here!”

“Hey, a school problem concerns me, too! Kid, this is our class rep, Atomic Betty! She leads Sector ATOM on Coruscant!”

“Call me Kid Cosmic!” Kid declared proudly. “’Guess we aren’t the only ones with cool ‘space’ names, huh, Star?”

“Haha!” Betty laughed. “I guess so! But listen, Maximus is just ahead. Wanna take him down together?”

“That’s a group project I can get behind!”

There were four more Blood Monks in the field. They were close enough for Star to web together with the S.P.I.T.R.A.P., allowing Betty to kick them unconscious. They crossed the valley to a canyon, where they had to traverse a narrow walkway on the right cliff. Longators would stretch their white, rectangular heads out of tiny gaps in the cliff, their delighted faces aiming to push the kids down the bottom of the trench. Kid’s H.O.M.E.R. would wipe the smirks off their faces. The path reached its end, but they could grapple a floating target to cross to the other side. Kid would shoot through another lineup of Longators—he quickly held back when a Spoof’s face stretched out of a gap. He allowed the kitten to boop him; her neck stretched even farther and pushed Kid across the trench. He was pressed into a secret room with a Gold Bolt; afterwards, the Spoof stretched back into space.

Betty joined them in the Gold Bolt dance! She dropped the bolt on the ground and slid it around with a hockey stick. Star dribbled it to Kid like a soccerball, while he picked it up with a twirl! Once past the trench, the trio grappled a series of floating targets. There were Hedrons; spinning, orange-lined rectangles blocking the targets from each other and requiring the kids to swing at diagonal angles to grapple around them. There were also Warpids that would vanish in and out between targets. The trio landed on the opposite cliff, beyond which was a field of more Blood Monks and fleeing Blobules.

Fighting through the invaders and crossing the field, the operatives closed in on a black and gray ship with a red streak and sharp wings and bow. Several yards before the ship, there was a porta-potty. Lord Maximus was banging on it. “Hurry up, you ignoramus! I need to go!” He was a tall, white Mobian feline with a red robe and thin mustache.

“Th-There’s no toilet paper, Your Impatientness.” A meekly voice replied. In a nastier tone, it said, “And you said it was pointless to bring our OWN!”

“MAXIMUS! Stop right there!”

“Atomic Betty!” the villain gasped. “And is that Star Winkiebottom?!”

“That’s Maximus?” Kid cocked a brow. “I thought he would be fatter. You know… like the gluteus.”

“What are you doing here?” Star asked. “Isn’t Mushroom too big a post for you to scratch?”

“Emperor Vilgax sent me to harvest this planet’s stars! They’ll make marvelous power sources! And these Power-Ups should prove rather useful as well.” Maximus picked out a Propeller Shroom, smirking. “Once we start producing more of them, my forces—I mean, Vilgax’s forces will be unstoppable! Duckukukuku!”

“Not if we kick you in the thing you’re named after!” Kid declared.

“Bah! Get out here, you simpleton!” Maximus threw open the porta-potty and yanked his henchman out.

“Eeek! I wasn’t finished drying…” Minimus said. He was an impish cyborg with a long, black and yellow head with a face on either end, one squeamish and one angry.

“Too bad! You’re about to test these mushrooms out!” Maximus shoved the Propeller Shroom in Minimus’ mouth.

“Gulp! Eeeeaaaaaahhh!” Minimus’ head spun like a propeller.

“Yeah, Mushroomian power-ups don’t respond well with non-Mushroomians.” Star said.

As Minimus rose upward, Maximus held onto his legs and flew around the air. “We’ll see about that!” (Play “Giga Lakitu” from Mario Galaxy!)


Boss fight: Maximus I.Q. and Minimus P.U.

Maximus swallowed a Fire Flower: as expected, his throat caught fire and face reddened as he spat a storm of fireballs from his airborne position. The kids scattered in evasion as Kid tried to douse Maximus’ burning throat with electric bubbles. Maximus was quick to dodge the bubbles, so Kid changed tactics with a faster, more precise weapon: the H.O.M.E.R.. His homing ammo dealt a combo of strong thwacks against Minimus, breaking his propeller power as they hit the ground. Maximus continued to spew bouncing fireballs, but Star would have the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. throw snowballs in turn and chill him out. Betty would have the honor of dealing him a round of solid kicks.

“MONKS!” Five Blood Monks poofed out of thin smoke. Star used the C.L.O.U.D.B.L.U.F.F. to confuse them, leaving Betty to strike them from the fog, while Kid stunned them with P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K.. During this period, Maximus dug in his robe for more power-ups and grabbed a Mega Shroom. “See what this does!” He shoved it into Minimus.

He was blasted away as Minimus’ head blew up in size. “Geez! And I thought YOU were the big-headed one, Your Egotisticness.”

“You can’t be bigger than me, you’re a sidekick! I’ll just try a different mushroom.” Maximus ate an SMB2 Shroom. “UGH!” His hands gigantified. “Well, this is fine!” He was able to hoist up Minimus’ head, throwing it toward his enemies and generating a shockwave. The trio was pushed back by the first shockwave, and Maximus would perform the act in repetition. Star noticed a few airborne space lights: he tricked Maximus into slamming Minimus beneath one, then conjuring a Space Block that would prevent him from lifting Minimus. The kids were free to go around and shoot Minimus’ faces, shrinking him back to normal. Maximus could still use his bulky claws to hoist up chunks of earth and throw them. Star used gravitybending to pick up the star-shaped stones and throw them at Maximus.

“YOOOOOOW!” As the stars punctured his hands like shurikens, they shrunk back to normal. However, because of the damage done to the ground, it caved in, causing them to plummet down a wide hole. “Now look what you fools have done! How am I going to get out of this…” Maximus shuffled through his robe, dropping a rubber duck and some junk as he found, “Now THIS seems up my alley!” He grabbed a Super Bell and jingled it above himself, attaining a gold-furred body! “Purrfect! Now, you…” He picked up Minimus. “Eat this hammer.”

“Nnnnnn, this won’t be good for my colon.” Minimus munched the hammer head like the toughest cracker in the universe.

“Shouldn’t we attack them while they’re doing this?” Kid asked.

“Watching them is fun.” Star said.

“Ooooog!” Minimus’ stomach grumbled. “I need to use the bathroom again!”

“Do it on them!” Maximus stuck his henchman on his back and climbed near the top of the hole. As he crawled around it with his cat claws, Minimus expelled lots of hammers from his rear. The boys tried to shoot him, but Maximus would quickly crawl sideways to outrun their fire, while Minimus still shot hammers from a distance. If only they had one of Nyoro’s weapons, Star thought, then they could ink the wall up and make Maximus slip off.

Forming a new plan, Star planted a Warp Space and joined his friends in chasing Maximus. The cat fled over the Warp Space, so Star quickly warped them back. He and Kid shot Bomb Spores and Z.A.P.B.L.E.R. bubbles at the unsuspecting cat, knocking him off the wall. Minimus reverted to normal while Maximus, still a golden cat, scampered away. Hissing viciously, Maximus dashed toward them with a strong claw swipe: Star grabbed Betty and Warp Dashed through him, while Kid gooified and stuck Maximus to the ground. Betty gave him the thrashing he deserved, knocking Maximus back to normal.

“Grrrrr! Enough of this!” Maximus grabbed a Spring Shroom and swallowed it. His body stretched and shaped like a spring as he compressed in and out for a moment. “I don’t have time to bother with you, Betty!” He grabbed Minimus and sprung out of the hole.

“They’re getting away!” Kid yelled.

“Wait!” Betty noticed the junk Maximus dropped earlier. “He forgot something!” She grabbed the rubber duck among them. The trio had to Space Ball up through a tunnel leading back to the surface. “HEY, MAXIMUS! Look what I got!”

“AAAAAH!” the villain screamed. “MY DUCK!”

“Go get it!” Betty jogged up to the porta-potty and tossed it inside. The frantic Maximus bounced toward the booth with aggressive force. Upon ramming the inside of the booth, it fell on its back as the door closed. Star used the S.P.I.T.R.A.P.’s webs to glue it closed.

“Nngh!” The booth began bouncing around from Maximus’ spring form. “Blast! The door’s stuck! Ewww…it’s spilling…EVERYWHERE! I can’t stop bouncing!”

“This would’ve been EASIER if we asked Vilgax for Devil Fruits!” Minimus hissed in his angry voice. He switched back to his meek voice, “B-But don’t give up, Your Soiledness! M-Maybe this flower can break us out of here!”

“The Super Ball Flower?! NO, YOU IDIOT!”

But judging by the sound of the Super Ball theme, Minimus ate it. “AAAAHH!” Minimus tossed a single Super Ball: they could hear it ricocheting wildly within the confined space, the porta-potty vibrating heavily amidst its flipping. The ball was not only pounding Maximus, it was probably splashing the waste around.

“I-I’ll keep trying, Your Painfulness! This booth has to burst eventually!”

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” More Super Balls filled the booth. “ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TAKE OVER A GALAXY! I didn’t ask for this… BALLCRAP! Waaaaaaaahhhh…” (End song.)

“Why can’t all boss fights be that fun, Kid?” Star said.

“Look!” Betty pointed. “There was a rift under the booth!”

“I don’t wanna know what’s down there…” Kid cringed.

“It doesn’t look that bad.” Star peeked. “In fact, it’s… a rabbit garden?”

They climbed down into another sector of the moon. A garden of large white vegetables of the moon’s white rock. Rabbits of the same color were frolicking. “Moon Rabbits.” Star said in awe. “This is their ridge…” A huge, white carrot tower loomed in the distance.

The kids explored the garden, smiling at the peaceful bunnies. Kid found a mixtape on a hidden path beneath the chasm ledge. “‘Atomic Betty’? Is this tape yours?”

“Hey, it’s my theme song! I put it on tape and sold a few copies… How’d this one get out here?”

“Can we have it?”

“Be my guest.”

“Guys, let’s go up here.” Star alerted them to the grind-rail leading around and up the carrot tower. The trio grinded the rail, taking in the marvelous view of the moon, Planet Mushroom, and the Rosalina Belt in the distance. Then, the rail dropped them at the top.

There was a tiny, green alien with small tentacles and a star-topped antenna. “Squeh…will Squirps ever see Mama again…”

“Hello, little guy.” Betty approached the creature and knelt beside him. “You lost your mama?”

“Squirps fell from the sky… and couldn’t find the way home. But she was there… to help Squirps. She came with Squirps to the sky… She helped Squirps find Mama… Help Squirps… for so long… But we still looking… she never give up… even if… never to see own Mama again…”

“Never to see… own Mama?” Kid couldn’t help but think he heard this story before. He noted the star on Squirps’ head. “…Star… is this the Star Child from the Rosalina story?”

“SQUEEEEEHHH…” The name made Squirps cry.

“You’re right…” Star said. It wasn’t a real star… but an alien from a species he’d never seen. Just what was this thing… Why was it even here? “…This might be the answer to that riddle. ‘Fulfill the princess’s duty and return the lost child to the stars.’ …Let’s use the A.B.D.U.C.T.O.Y..”

“Star… can I do it?”

“Sure, Kid.”

Kid took the weapon and shot out a single toy robot. It flew around as it usually did and stopped above Squirps. With a ray of light, Squirps rose toward it. The robot carried him to the distant stars.

As the kids watched him shrink away… Squirps flashed into a star. A green star that descended back toward them. “…” Star felt a great sense of familiarity, raising his arms to collect it. “It’s… one of Jirachi’s Seven Stars.”

“No way…” Betty gaped. “Just like in the game.”

“Huh…” Star looked into the star… then, along with his friends, looked up at where Squirps last shone. He and Rosalina were their first leads to Jirachi. But did they ever find Squirps’ mama? They wondered… if Jirachi would know.

The operatives returned to Galaxia Elementary, regrouping with Betty’s teammates, X-5 and Sparky. “Thanks for all the help, Star.” Betty smiled. “We got some cleaning up to do, but we’re ready to join the fight whenever you need us!”

“Say, is Mo’s still up and running?” Sparky licked his lips. “She makes a mean flapjack!”

“Drop by whenever you want!” Star said. “Kid, whaddya say we grab a bite before our next Star?”

“YEAH!”

After fattening up

“Hmm?” Star murmured while chewing a hot fudge cake. “Ed’s calling.” He answered the transmission.

“Heeeeey, guuuuys! You got stuff on your face!”

“We got plenty in our bellies, too. What’s up, Ed?”

“Ed and her pals explored more of those desert portals. One of them went right to Mars!”

“You don’t say.”

“Yeah… and we saw a couple-a weird guys there. Look!” Ed sent them a picture of Mars’ red desert.

Star and Kid squinted at the small UFO parked far from where the picture was taken… and they gasped seeing the pair next to it. “Rick and Morty!”

“Spike found a wanted poster of them, too. He followed them to the casino!”

“I don’t think Spike knows what he’s dealing with. Kid, we have to go see what they’re up to. They might be spreading parasites out there.”

“I guess so…”

The boys relocated the rift to Jakku Valley, where the Bebop was still parked. With Ed’s guidance, they followed the shortcut rift back to New Mexico; it was above a tall stone platform which they could climb via a Space Ball tunnel inside. “Spike and Jet went through here.” Ed showed them to a huge, round cactus. “There’s a rift behind this cactus. They blasted it down to get through, but it grows back fast! Ed wants to keep it!”

“Maybe if it grows back a second time.” Star charged up the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R. and eradicated the cactus. The desolateness of the red planet spanned beyond the rift.

“Wow, we’re really going to Mars!” Kid exclaimed. “Martians are, like, the first aliens anyone hears about! I wonder what they’re like?”

They jumped through… and found their selves right in front of the vibrant city of Mars Vegas. It seemed the same as the city on Earth. “Ah! I didn’t think it would drop us right here.” Star said.

“Uhhh…is this really Mars?”

“It’s an Earth establishment on Mars, yes. Owned by a wealthy Chinese family. But don’t worry, Mars has plenty of its own natives. Like the Marshan Clan of Marsmallow Valley! …before the Big Mom Pirates wiped them out.”

“HEY! What’re you brats doing here?!”

A familiar pair of men ran toward the town entrance, pursued by a swarm of small, pink, three-tentacled squids. “Spike! Jet!” Star shot the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. to freeze the squids, allowing the adults to crush them easily.

“Man, Mars has nasty squids!” Kid yelled.

“Those weren’t squids.” Jet Black replied. “They were Sequids.”

“That’s a whole letter extra!”

“Ed sent us that picture you took of Rick and Morty!” Star said. “Did they have something to do with this?”

“We saw them stick some jelly substance in the ground, then a Sequid came out.” Spike answered. “They took it away, and before we knew it, we’re in this mess.”

A horde of casino-goers charged out, blasting guns at the four. They were covered in Sequids; Kid stunned them with the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R., causing the parasites to fall off and for the bounty hunters to shoot them. “The Sequids were supposed to be wiped out decades ago.” Jet said. “By the Metroid Hunter…”

“Yeah.” Star heard about that excursion. When Earth began colonizing Mars, the human visitors became hosts of the Sequid hive mind. “But there aren’t any X coming out of them. I guess Rick cloned the Sequids himself. I think he’s trying to threaten Samus.”

“Then we gotta stop ’em!” Kid declared. “Samus’s got enough work already!”

“You’re right. That is, if these guys don’t mind us teaming up with them again?”

“Spike, make sure the tykes don’t get hurt.” Jet ordered. “I’ll cover the Wongminster Golf Club.” The captain hurried off.

“Stuck with babysitting again…” Spike sighed.

“And we’ll be a lot more strict this time!” Kid shouted. (Play “Green Yonder Opening” from Futurama!)


Bebop Valley, Mission Update: Stop the Sequid invasion!

Star, Kid, and Spike faced a trio of possessed card dealers after entering town, throwing bladed cards. While Star and Kid froze or shocked the dealers, Spike moved swiftly to yank the Sequids off them and shoot them on the ground. They crossed the great pavilion of Wong Hotel and Casino, a bright greenish building defined by its “W” logo, which had a strip of the building carved out. Crimson palm trees decorated the garden of the pavilion, and a large pool reflected the “W” in the center.

A team of Sequid-possessed alien guards charged out of the building, shooting casino chip bullets. These aliens had long faces with big eyes, but no noses. “Look out for the Momtians!”

“Those are Martians?!” Kid asked.

“Momtians! They’re a matriarchal tribe.”

“Didn’t Disney make a bad movie about them?” Spike wondered, sniping the guns out of three of their hands. Star sent the S.P.I.T.R.A.P. to yank them all together while Kid P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K.ed right on top of them. The Sequids were destroyed, but it seemed the casino was barricaded. Fortunately, the answer was right there in the pool: a rift! The boys dove in and hoped for the best.

“WHOOOAAAA!” The next thing they knew, they were falling from a floating island toward a rocky desert. Thankfully, Star could Gravity Shift them onto the bottom of the island. “We’re on Venus!” Spike realized. The sky was a pale yellow, and there were several islands of floating plants. Small towns with radio antennas were built on them.

“I didn’t think Venus looked like this!” Kid said in a high-pitched voice. “…HEY! Why do I sound all squeaky?!”

“Because Venus’s air is helium.” Spike answered, his own voice squeaky. “Get used to sounding like balloons.”

“We better not stay too long.” Star said. “If you’re not adapted to this planet like the locals here, the plants can give you Venus Sickness.”

“Does that mean we’ll turn into balloon people?!” Kid asked.

“No. We’ll just go blind.”

“Oh. Balloon people would be cooler.”

The boys approached the edge of the island, where they could platform a sequence of small, floating plant masses. Pink, tentacled balloons would rise to their level; they were Sequids inflated with helium! They puffed their swollen bodies to shoot their teeth, scratching Star and Spike, but they were easy to pop with their weapons. They would have to grapple a short distance while having to shoot down Sequids in-between swings, with the last hook swinging them right through a rift.

The desert was swiftly replaced with a pure blue ocean, the trio landing on the roof of a large, mechanical structure. “It’s Ganymede’s space port.” Spike observed. Spaceships were parked on the water along the twin piers; they were on the domed roof at the end of one. There was a large, ring-shaped structure hanging above via diagonal support beams.

“Look at that ginormous moon!” Kid pointed at the horizon.

“That would be Jupiter, actually.” Star clarified. “This is one of its moons.”

“Those things made it here, too.” Spike alerted them to the humans and Martians possessed by Sequids on the pier. “But look up there!” He noticed a balloon Sequid up in the air with satellite-like fins. “I wonder if that’s some sort of radio transmitter between them?”

“So, if we shoot it, that should break their concentration!” Star grabbed the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E. and popped it out of the sky! The people began scrambling about in panic.

“I think it just riled them up.” Spike said. “There might be more of them. Let’s grab a boat and search around.”

They jumped down to commandeer a motorboat, driving around the surrounding waters. There were some Sequid Satellites behind the diagonal support beams, and some hidden within the arches of the outer ring. Sniping them was a matter of finding the right angle. Spike and Kid would shoot the hulls of other boats, driven by angry Sequid victims. After shooting all five satellites, the Sequids seemed to dehydrate and fall off their victims.

With the situation quelled, a gate opened along the sea of the central building. There was a rift inside. However, the Gold Bolt Detector hinted something high up above. There was a Grav-Path leading onto the outer ring. Star Shinesparked toward the end center of the ring before shooting directly toward the upper ring, where he seized the Gold Bolt! After falling back down, they entered the rift inside the port.

They landed on the roof of Wong Hotel, overlooking the pavilion they were at originally. In fact, there was a Space Ball Grav-Path at the start of the red “W” logo. As they rolled along it, baby Buggalo (beetles with cowskin) crawled to and fro, threatening to knock them off. The right stroke of the “W” stretched further up before curving left at a tight angle. It would then lead vertically up near the top of the building, but from here, they had to roll across the purple “Wong” insignia. At the end of the cursive insignia, they could press a secret switch to unlock the hotel’s entrance. “Wow, why do they make it so hard to unlock this place?!”

The trio dropped all the way back down and entered the casino. “Hey, Star!” Numbuh 20x40 called from his stand. “I thought the casino would be a great place for business. But I can’t sell anything to these squid freaks. Let me sell ya a good weapon to splat them with. The I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E. will give them a hot paint job to boot!”

“Well, contrary to Off the Hook’s slogan, hook me up!” Star paid 20,000 bolts.


Galactic Kids Next Door: I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E.
Inkredibly Nice Kids’ Sponge Paints Obstacles New Gleaming Emollients


“Try it out, Kid! I bet you’ll like it!”

“Okay!” Kid would have his chance when a band of Sequid-possessed Mayatians charged out; they were pale Martians with feathered antennas and tribal clothes, face patterns, and wide noses. The I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E. would shoot sliding sponges along the ground with sprinklers on top, wildly spraying colorful ink around it. The ink disoriented the Sequids, allowing the boys to destroy them more easily.

“Hey! There they are!” Spike aimed up at a second floor walkway. Rick and Morty were crossing it.

“Let’s find a way up, quickly!” Star ushered. There was a stairway of floating, rotating roulette tables they could jump up. Afterwards, they would rely on floating large, red die, which spun in erratic manners before stopping. (Weirdly, the die’s dots were under square root symbols.) They used Warp Dash to reach said die, having to carefully time for when they would stop; the boys slipped and fell three times. Their successful attempt landed them on the second layer, so they raced after Rick and Morty.

“Ahhhh!” Morty was frantic as a Sequid climbed his shirt. Rick shot it off. “Geez, Rick, why do we need these shriveled nut-looking parasites? Why couldn’t we just dump the X here?”

“I’m not a one-parasite type of guy. Don’t you know variety is the spice of life or some bullshit?”

“Hey.” Spike greeted calmly. “Don’t you know to keep your pets on a leash?”

Rick and Morty faced the bounty hunter and operatives. “Well, look who survived Pandora.” Rick sneered. “Who’s the bush-headed chump?”

“Why are you terrorizing Mars?!” Star shouted. “Did Vilgax put you up to this?!”

“Omelette flew to this galaxy to shake me off. I figured, since I was here, I might as well revive another species to piss Samus off. Sent one of the X underground to wake up a fossilized Sequid and let my Clone Blender do the rest.” He picked out a small, high-tech blender.

“Well, you better stop it! Or else!” Kid threatened.

“Or else what?” Morty asked. “You’ll shoot us with one of your fancy kid toys?”

“Probably shoots better than one of your gross grown-up weapons!”

“Yeah, big talk for a walking booger!”

“At least I don’t suck my boogers into my eyes!”

“What does THAT mean?!”

“It means your eyes are full of boogers! That’s why they’re so puffy!”

“Yeah, well… you just have a monkey head!”

“Morty, just go make out with him and shut the hell up. Though, since you kids seem to know Samus, maybe you have some idea where the Chozo relic is? I’m sure some of my little friends can-”

Spike lunged to swipe the Clone Blender—Rick reacted to snatch it back with his right hand, but Spike deflected it with his own. Rick’s shoulder cannons extracted, but Spike bent backward to duck them. His right leg flew up, twisting his shoe to snag Rick’s neck like a hook and slam him to the floor. Spike tossed the blender to Star, who pocketed it in his Infi-Cube. “Oh, you wanna go at it, you bastard?!” Rick flipped up and tried to shoot Spike with the Picklizer, but he was nimble to evade before whipping out his own Jericho and shooting Rick in the eye. The scientist’s head reeled back with gritted teeth. He glanced to see Star and Kid escaping to a door on his left. Rick grabbed his portal gun and shot one open in their path, the boys running through before they realized.

“I need more space for this.” Rick shot another portal open behind him—“AGH!” Spike kicked Rick off his feet, then kicked the portal gun out of his hand, its capsule shattering against the wall.

“I’ll watch ’em for ya!” Spike waved before dashing in the closing portal.

“DAMMIT!”

Star, Kid, and Spike wound up in a Buggalo herd. “Spike!” Kid gasped.

“Don’t worry. They won’t chase us for a while. I think we pissed ’em off though.”

“Couldn’t be helped.” Star took the blender back out and extinguished it with the K.A.M.E.H.A.M.E.R.. “But we better find our own way back. At least we’re still on Mars.”

The Buggalo suddenly stretched their wings in panic and flew away. “What’s got them riled up?” Spike wondered.

“Uh…it might be that?” Kid pointed.

At first, it seemed like a pink sandstorm… but it was actually a massive swarm of Sequids. “Yeah, I think we better split now!” Star yelled, turning to break into a boost. “Crud! The sand’s too deep to Shinespark! …Hey, we can use that!” One more Buggalo was flying overhead. They grappled its legs and pulled up onto its back; unfortunately, this weighed the insect down. “Fly, cowbug, FLYYYYYY!” (Play “Truck Chase N. Verted” from Crash 4!)”

With no way to gain extra height, the boys had to steer left or right to avoid tall rocks. The Sequids shot single members from the swarm, but Kid could shoot them in quick succession with the H.O.M.E.R.. One managed to latch on Star’s head, but Spike grabbed and squeezed the vermin dead. The Buggalo aimed to fly through a dune, but it would likely push them off. Thankfully, another Buggalo flew overhead for them to grapple, swing over the dune, and land back on their steed. “Space Blocks!” Star gasped, seeing the lights in the desert further up. They charged by, and as chunks of Sequids covered the lights, Star willed the Blocks to appear and burst them. It took out a good chunk of the swarm, but they were still on their tails.

“You can’t outrun us forever!” A figure emerged from the front of the swarm. They looked like a tan-skinned girl with a large forehead. Her eyes were black sclera and pupils with white irises. “Your power will serve us!”

“There’s a human in there?!” Spike exclaimed.

“This host acts as our ‘queen.’ Her intelligence is splendid. Shame we can’t bite into that scientist’s skin. He looks far more delicious~”

“Wait…” Star felt familiarity. “Is she…” He looked ahead. “Rift incoming!”

The Buggalo flew through a rift to another desert: the dark and gray sand of this expanse reflected the clouds, yet they could make out Saturn beyond them. “We’re on Saturn’s moon, Titan!” Spike exclaimed.

“Man, it’s windy here!” Kid yelled. “LOOK OUT!” A small comet came hurdling at them. Though the Buggalo would stay safe under it, Star had to Warp Dash his allies through it. This time, groups of Sequids would lunge from the swarm all at once; however, the wild windstorm blew many of them away, with random ones from each group managing to latch on their steed. One latched Spike, the hunter aggressively struggling to pry it off and crunch it; one latched Kid, but its teeth got wedged in his goo, and Star shot it off with the N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E.. Another comet came, so they Warp Dashed through again.

The Buggalo flew right into a tornado, the team swirling to the sky as the Sequids spun up in a like manner. But as the scattered swarm closed in. Kid shot sponges from his I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E. out, their paint splattering everywhere and coloring the Sequids. Those chunks of the disoriented swarm blew out of the tornado.

From the top of the twister, the Buggalo flew cleanly into a rift—“WHOA!” and was about to crash into a skyscraper. The unfortunate insect did and would plummet unconscious. Luckily, Star could keep his friends from falling by shifting gravity on the building. “Looks like Callisto.” A cold, cloudy, misty moon with a gloomy city. The remainder of the swarm plowed onto the building, so the trio dashed straight to the top. They faced the edge as the host queen rose upon her minions.

“Now… join us in brotherhood!”


Boss fight: Sequeen

The queen’s fleshy pillar rotated around the roof. Some Sequids would climb from random sides to ambush them, so the trio was quick to shoot them back. After they killed 10, the Sequeen amassed a chunk of her brethren into a drill. She had it dead set on Star, so he planted a Warp Space before ushering his friends to retreat to the other side with him. The drill fired, but just before it touched them, Star warped them to the planted space. The queen gasped in shock—Kid shot Z.A.P.B.L.E.R.s all over the host. As she twitched and “zzzzzz’ed,” the Sequids left by the drill began scrambling. Kid and Star defeated some with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. and P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K., while Spike shot off some Sequids on the queen.

A ton of Sequids regathered on their queen and recovered her. This time, she moved completely onto the roof, arisen on a twister of Sequids. The trio scattered around the roof as she tried to sweep over them, her minions flinging off to latch on them. Kid shot more rounds of the I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E. out, the splattering paint clotting a chunk of the condensed swarm. With enough Sequids painted, the queen’s pillar gave way as she hit the roof. But she was quick to dodge their next attack, becoming a brown squid to dive through one of the roof vents.

“NYORO!” Star screamed. “IT IS her!”

“OH!” Kid gasped. “Don’t worry, Star, we’ll save her!” The host kept jumping in and out from vents, throwing a Sequid at them each time. Kid applied the same skill and gooed through a vent, ambushing her inside and pounding her with shock bubbles. It got rid of some of the Sequids on her, but she retreated down another vent. As Kid returned to his friends, they felt the floor quake. They jumped aside before a spike-shaped pillar of Sequids pierced from where they stood. They retracted and repeated the act, but Star would use the Sprinkler S.P.O.R.E. to trap the parasites in moss while the bombs destroyed chunks of them.

After four rounds of this, the Sequids stopped coming. There was silence for five seconds. Then—a mass of Sequids BLASTED into the air and back down, exploding a shockwave of their kind. Star reacted quick to grab his friends and Warp Dash through them. In the epicenter of that shockwave was Nyoro. Star quickly trapped the four of them in a Space Block, preventing other Sequids from getting in. Kid pelted the Inkling with shock bubbles as her four attached Sequids fell off. Spike proceeded to crush them. The surrounding swarm split off in confusion, so after dropping the barrier, the boys destroyed them with all the AOE weapons in their arsenal. (End song.)

“Ahhhh…ow…” Nyoro held her large forehead, achingly opening her eyes. “…Star! Kid! It’s you!”

“You’re alright.” Star smiled.

“I can’t remember what happened… The guards brought me to some human scientist… and I think some squid thing tried to eat me!”

“We’ll explain everything later. We saved Aniki, too, by the way. But Jennu and Firaga are still unaccounted.”

“Firaga! I heard them say they were moving her to a prison in Schwifty Galaxy!”

“Really? Sigh, that doesn’t bode well…”

“I can’t stand… I’m so tired…”

“Spike, do you mind carrying her?”

“Fine, but I’m getting paid extra.”

They climbed down some naturally-formed footholds to another rift leading back to Titan; this time on safe ground. “I wonder…” Star remembered the Star Sanctuary; one of the planets was Saturn. ‘Will the poor monkey never taste her favorite comet?’ These comets that were flying around in the windstorm. And Saturn was a planet of Rainbow Monkeys. They had to be connected.

But which comet would be the monkey’s favorite? None of them stood out; they were all plain and colorless. Maybe a Rainbow Monkey would like a rainbow comet? Where would they find…no… they had to MAKE ONE!

When one of the comets flew by, Star stopped it with Gravity Shift. “Kid, shoot your I.N.K.S.P.O.N.G.E. around that comet!”

“Uh…okay?” Kid shot two sponges onto the rock. They slid around and coated it in sloppy colors. With that, Star shifted its gravity directly up toward Saturn. They watched with anticipation for what would happen. …The gas giant shaped like a Rainbow Monkey’s head. It opened its smiling mouth and nommed the comet in one gulp. Its rainbow antenna glowed a bright red. Like a shooting star, it descended toward the moon… and became an actual red star. Star held the second of Jirachi’s Star Pieces in his hands.

The kids found a rift leading back to Mars Vegas; inside a sealed bathroom of the hotel that they could unlock from the inside. And it seemed Mr. and Mrs. Wong were cowering in one of the stalls.

They peeked out of the bathroom, afraid of encountering Rick and Morty again. However, GUN soldiers had moved into the casino and the town, stunning the Sequid hosts to force the parasites off, then shooting the vermin. “OYYY! I was worried about ya, Spike!” Jet approached them beside a shuddering Faye Valentine. “Looks like GUN’s stealing our glory this time. On the bright side, I managed to save Faye from those things.”